Bitch

That girl went “recreationally” shopping yesterday.  She returned from her shopping with only a couple of bags.  She purchased typical girl stuff: several bottles of white wine, a new pair of red shoes, pickled garlic, a dress, and baklava.

One bottle of wine immediately caught my attention.  The pink cap and pink label screamed for my attention. 

Labels are a big deal in my line of work.  The National Electrical Code is all about making sure warning labels are slapped on everything that might pose a potential hazard to persons.  To be technical, pretty much everything electrical is potentially hazardous if you cannot outrun electricity, which travels at a speed of 93,000 miles-per-second in copper wiring (as near as I can gather).  The Code is so concerned with labels, Section 110.21 recommends that all labels are made to a specific standard that dictates such things as coloring and font size.  The standard is found in ANSI Z535.4.  I will spare you the details.  The important thing to understand is that all of this costs a great deal of money.

As I mentioned previously, the pink wine label really caught my attention.  A good label will do that.  I immediately grabbed the bottle of wine and carried it out to my deck to take a photograph with my twice-as-smarter-than-me-phone.  As you can see from the photograph, that girl purchased a bottle of Bitch wine.

I really wanted to sample some of the Bitch wine.  As I contemplated asking that girl if I could open the bottle, a punctuation and inflection dilemma occurred to me.  How might I ask?

Following are two options I considered:

1. “I would like to try some of that Bitch!”

2. “I would like to try some of that, Bitch! 

Punctuation marks should have warning labels associated with them.  I would recommend adopting ANSI Z535.4 as a standard to follow for production of the labels.

 

--Mitchell Hegman