Calm

Something, aside from becoming increasingly uglier, is happening to me as I grow older. The thing I am talking about is NOT freaking-out about bad stuff when it occurs in my life.

I give you (the possibly inane) example of being confronted yesterday with a totally dead computer. Back in "the day" such a loss would have launched me into total panic. I might have thrown my mouse to the floor after a few fruitless attempts at bringing the screen to life. At a minimum, I would have yelled curses at the nearest lamp or doorway. Instead, I simply sat back and said to myself: "Self, this is not particularly good."

The loss of my machine is a big deal. Without my computer and access to my previous work, I had to force closed (temporarily) my entire business since my work is steeped in creating documents, Power Point presentations, and the production of online training.   Furthermore, I needed to immediately expend the better part of $1,000.00 on hardware and software to assure I can get busy again before the end of this week.

I remained utterly calm throughout an entire day of running my machine about to see what might be done. I had to find someone able to quickly retrieve my most recent data. I had to purchase (locally) the required hardware and software.

At the end of the day, I thought about my calm reactions and behavior as I sipped on a glass of Scotch and watched the sun drop into a snowstorm. I wondered if my behavior in the face of this adversity might be attributed to my finally learning to accept and reason through troubles or if, perhaps, I just don't give a damn anymore.

I am all over the latter answer on this one.

--Mitchell Hegman