Six Simple Rules for Practical Living

1. Fight all urges to hug naked mannequins.

2. Never eliminate bacon from a recipe that calls for bacon.

3. Don’t kick animals that have actual teeth at any end.

4. Approach any internet search for booby birds with extreme caution.

5. Make sure the garbage disposer switch is the first switch you identify in the kitchen.

6. Avoid throwing temper tantrums while naked.

--Mitchell Hegman