Something You Don’t Want to Hear

Doctor explaining the surgical procedure he is about to perform to his patient:

Doctor:  “I am going to make a small incision, something about the length of a butter knife, just below your belly button.”

Patient:  “That sounds pretty big.”

Doctor:  “I have made much bigger.”

Patient: “Oh…that’s, um, good, I guess…”

Doctor:  “Once I have made the incision—”

Patient:  “Before you go on, I have one more question.”

Doctor:  “Go ahead.”

Patient:  “Is belly button a term you really use in anatomy?”

Doctor:  “I like to use it.  So, after the incision is made, we are going to explore inside a little to see if we can find something.”

Patient:  “By something you mean…?”

Doctor:  “Something unusual.”

Patient: “By unusual you mean…?”

Doctor:  “That’s a good question.  At that point we are going to start conducting some Google searches on a computer to see there is any stuff out there that might help.”

--Mitchell Hegman