Accidental Seafood

I’ve experienced some unusual accidents.  There was that time, for example, I hit myself on the forehead with a hammer.  And there was that time, as a kid, when I accidentally swallowed a tuning whistle. 

Yesterday, on a shopping excursion to purchase a beef brisket, I accidentally purchased almost $40.00 worth of sea food.

Here’s how it happened.

I walked in the grocery store and—BAM—there was this huge temporary display of crab legs, lobster tails, and shrimp on ice.  I nearly bumped into the display.  As I skirted around glass cases, a young kid behind the display says: “Those are some pretty nice looking legs, right?”

And that’s when it happened.  I accidentally blurted out: “Give me two and a half pounds.”

That’s how accidents happen.  You don’t have time to think, to turn back.  You smack right into something.

While I was waiting for the kid to gather up and bag my legs, a woman whom I would guess to be in her mid-seventies walked up and peered into the case.  “You’d better buy some legs, too.” I suggested to her.

“I’m thinking about some of those Canadian lobster tails,” she said.  She winked at me.  “I haven’t had any Canadian tail in ages.”

“Oh, my,” I said

The kid handed me the legs.  A little flushed, I walked away with my accidental seafood.

-- Mitchell Hegman