Questions That Keep Me Awake at Night

• Is yo-yo a sport?
• Is it wrong to make judgements about people based solely on the color they have painted their house?
• Would I be taller if my parents had named me Paul as they once considered?
• If we are being monitored by aliens from outer space (as many suspect), will they consider us intelligent lifeforms after witnessing one of our beer can melting guild meetings at the campfire?
• Is it okay if I start believing in Santa Claus again?  Just for this year?
• What is another word for “Aaayyy!”

—Mitchell Hegman