Time on the Range

The electric range in my kitchen is thirty years old (and in need of replacement).   The digital clock on the range is ultra-sensitive to sags in voltage.  The slightest voltage dip will set the clock back to 00:00.

Resetting the clock is something of a ritual.  You must turn a setting knob, poke a button, poke another button, turn the setting knob, poke a button, spin yourself around three times, stomp one foot, and yell “Swedish meatballs!” at my 20 pounds of housecat.

And, sometimes, that doesn’t work.

For a few years—for whatever reason—our power grid was unstable.  We experienced a lot of blinks in our power.  I often found the range telling me the time was 00:00.  Frustrated by trying to reset the clock I decided to leave it at 00:00.

Sadly, I was not smart enough for that, either.  Early in the morning, or late at night, I might catch the time and stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds, wondering: “Where am I supposed to be at zero O’clock?”

— Mitchell Hegman