Impractical Solutions

Here is a list of impractical solutions I would like to use at least once:

1. Defrost my old-timey upright freezer by opening it up and shooting at the ice buildup with a BB gun.

2. Use a honey badger (instead of my live traps) to catch mice in my house.

3. Beat the heat by crawling into bed with two bags of frozen peas and one bag of frozen mango slices.

4. Balance my checking account by choosing magic numbers I like (likely a series of eights).

5. Start a campfire with a flaming arrow shot from a distance.

—Mitchell Hegman