Thursday, May 8, 2025

Sap Removal 101

Only an idiot would wear one of his better shirts while splitting firewood.

I suspect you know where I’m going with this.

We’ve already established I don’t clean behind my ears, can’t spell anything longer than “dog,” and am a certified idiot.

So, one of the chunks of wood I chopped—while wearing one of my better shirts—smeared a swath of sticky pitch on it when I attempted to stack it. Surprisingly, an internet query immediately landed me on an agent for the removal of tree sap: rubbing alcohol.

I’m here to announce—rubbing alcohol works flawlessly (entire sentence spellchecked).

Thank you, great interweb!

Cordwood Stack

—Mitchell Hegman

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