Here is a list of things I want to
know:
- Who decided hot was a flavor?
- Why do people keep selling me “deer-proof” plants that deer munch down to sticks within days of me planting them?
- When is the best time to do something you shouldn’t do?
- If keys were the size of bowling balls, how would we carry them—and where would we hide them?
- Why do I keep buying so-called “deer-proof” plants?
- How different would my life be if my parents had named me Paul, their runner-up choice?
- If you can’t dance worth a damn, is being an excellent hugger a viable alternative?
- Is there any occasion when confusion is the optimal response?
—Mitchell Hegman
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