Small Triumphs

Here in Montana, we sometimes endure something called “false spring,” when winter does a head fake and offers a few days of improbable warmth in the depths of cold. Sunlight warms the ground. Snow recedes, and the air carries the scent of thaw. Then, just as everyone gathers their shorts and sunscreen, winter snaps back, freezing everything in place.

Thing is, real spring isn’t much better around here. Warming weeks are often bookended by freezing nights and snow squalls. This fickle weather is hard on plants. But one, in particular, thrives in the come-and-go spring: the bitterroot. This plant, with its three sets of double letters, is our state flower—and a stubborn one.

This time of year, bitterroot rosettes emerge at the feet of snowbanks. Compact and clinging to the freshly unthawed earth, they thrive in days of spare sun and unsettled air. It’s easy to miss these little jewels in a half-winter world.

Yesterday, walking our country road, I spotted dozens of healthy bitterroot. I’m sharing a photograph of a pair those, along with a photograph of a bank of snow that still lingers at the front of my house.

Bitterroot

The Drift Along the House

—Mitchell Hegman

The Ground Thing

Working as an electrician has ruined me in a very specific and weird way. I can’t watch a movie, video, or even look at photographs of a building’s interior without trying to see the orientation of the receptacle outlets. Have they been installed with the ground up or the ground down?

This is a pretty big deal for an electrician.

I’m telling you, if a video of Salma Hayek appeared in front of me in which she was strutting through a building in a skimpy bikini, I’m going to be distracted by every receptacle she wafts past.

Me? I’m ground down all day long. There are arguments both for and against this orientation. I’ll spare you details on that and just say that I was trained as an apprentice to mount receptacles with the ground down, and I continue to run with that.

Interestingly enough, the National Electrical Code is silent on this. Furthermore, neither receptacle manufacturers nor the National Electrical Manufacturers Association make any recommendation in either direction.

So, to all of you receptacles out there, I just want you to know—Salma Hayek or not—I’ve got my eye on you.

Ground Up

Ground Down

—Mitchell Hegman

Easily Manipulated

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m easily manipulated. The other day, for example, a fake profile of my dear wife, Desiree, surfaced on Facebook. Even though I knew the profile was bogus, I was tempted to catfish myself and send her a friend request—just because she looked so striking in the profile photograph.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Aging Process

I have never firmly established who they are, but they say that cheap wine doesn’t age well. That’s largely true, but when it comes to aging poorly, I think snowmen might be the worst. As a case in point, I give you Filipa, the snow-woman Desiree made the day before yesterday. By yesterday afternoon, the sun had reduced Filipa to a mound of snow.

I’ve posted some images of Filipa. I’m going to miss her standing on the back deck, but the grass below will be happy.

Filipa, Day Two (Morning)

Filipa, Day Two (Afternoon)

Filipa, Yesterday

—Mitchell Hegman

Filipa The Snow-Woman

Yesterday, while some folks in the country were scampering about in swimsuits—and possibly less—here in my corner of Montana, we were wading through nearly a foot of fresh, heavy snow. I woke in the morning to find pine trees transformed into snow ghosts. This particular snow proved perfect for making a snowman—more accurately, a snow-woman.

Technically, Desiree undertook the project of making the snow-woman. I mostly sat inside, drinking coffee, occasionally pressing my nose against the glass at my back door to check on her progress. I did help by hoisting the midsection snowball.

I’m pleased that Desiree has embraced our winter world. You’re not going to escape winter if you live in Montana for any length of time.

Desiree named the snow-woman Filipa.

Early Morning Ghost Trees

Desiree Rolling the Biggest Snowball

Desiree Holding Filipa’s Head

Desiree and Filipa

Filipa’s Face

An Apology

While soaking in my hot tub, it occurred to me that a bit over a year from now I will be embracing the age of seventy. Wow. That’s somewhat mind-boggling. Back when I was in my teens, I thought I would be old when I reached thirty. Now that I’ve reached this point, I think my teens owes my thirty an apology.

—Mitchell Hegman

Descriptors

The following are a few descriptors about me that may be helpful:

• Willing to beg for potato chips.
• Vertically challenged.
• May have fiddled while Rome was burning.
• Considers proper spelling a soft option.
• Has a stuck button.
• Easily distracted.
• Pretty good at dishwashing.
• Saves bent nails.

—Mitchell Hegman