Eating Pain for Dinner

A surprising number of us crave a healthy dose of pain for dinner. I’m talking about adding hot peppers to our dishes. While some may claim hot peppers are adding a “taste” of heat to dinner, from a physiological standpoint, capsaicin, the chemical compound responsible for the heat, binds to a specific protein on your nerve endings called the TRPV1 receptor, creating pain.

While this reaction to capsaicin is essentially a false alarm on a receptor that is supposed to trigger at real temperatures above 106°F, the pain feels absolutely genuine.

Again, hot is not flavor; it’s pain. And, sincerely, I don’t enjoy eating pain. I prefer my tacos merely warm and a good old mild comfort food such as macaroni and cheese. Apparently, I’m just not wired for fire.

Desiree’s Peppers

—Mitchell Hegman

An Early Blush

I know quite a few Midwesterners who have transplanted themselves here in Montana. They don’t seem terribly confused and have adapted well. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for the buckeye tree (of Midwestern origins) Desiree and I planted in front of our house. Even though fall is not scheduled to arrive until September 22, the muddled, out-of-its-element tree pulled the pin, as the saying goes, and turned autumn red this week.

Apparently, buckeye trees are known for being somewhat rash when charged with prepping for fall. Still, it’s pretty weird to see the blush of colors when the apples on a nearby tree have yet to fully ripen and our first frost is not yet knocking at the door.

Buckeye Tree

Apple Tree

—Mitchell Hegman

Yesterday and Today

There was a tattered woman, too.

She wore shawls with so many colors

they were like a season in themselves,

or a remembrance of curious times and old money.

 

Each day, she strode to the post office,

and glided echoless down the marbled walls.

 

Perhaps she didn't believe in time,

or distrusted randomness and dreams.

 

Each day she posted a scented letter to herself

and picked up the letter from the day previous,

 

smelling,

oh, engulfed in the roseate sweetness

and certainty of yesterday.

—Mitchell Hegman

A Bullsnake at the Door

In case you’ve ever wondered what a bullsnake would look like on the front stoop of your house, I’m sharing a photograph of one on mine as an example. I first spotted the snake when it poked its head inside after I opened the garage door to walk outside.

I’m hoping this snake is a good mouser. I could use the help.

—Mitchell Hegman

Dumb Ideas

Following is a list of my dumb ideas (not in any particular order):

• Building a wooden ramp for jumping my Stingray bicycle without the use of nails or screws to hold it together.
• Transplanting a cactus without gloves.
• Keeping a pet tarantula in a terrarium with an unweighted screen on top of it.
• Using an extra dash of accelerant to start a fire.
• Keeping a pet tarantula.
• Dressing myself in the dark.
• Not watching the movie E.T. until fifteen years after its debut.
• Dressing myself.
• Throwing out my life-sized cardboard cutout of Salma Hayek.
• Checking to see if a fence was electrified by touching it.

—Mitchell Hegman

You Can’t Hide from Me, Yellowjacket

At the moment, I don’t have a particular beef if you are a yellowjacket. And I’ve more or less forgiven a pair of them for that time they stung me when I startled them by hammering on a fascia board near their nest under the eave of my lake storage shed.

While I have no immediate issue of concern with yellowjackets, I remain wary. And just yesterday, I found one attempting to hide under a sunflower alongside my back deck. I don’t know what this solitary yellowjacket was up to, but I want all yellowjackets to know I am wise to their ways, and I’m posting a photograph to prove it.

Hiding Yellowjacket

—Mitchell Hegman

Custom Metal

 I thought I was done with the cabin after finishing the kitchen on the main floor, but I soon realized I have plenty of finish work I can do on the basement level. A couple of weeks ago, to that end, I ordered some metal panels and custom trim pieces to accommodate the odd structure of the daylight wall there. The framing became complicated where the foam blocks and concrete met the dimensional lumber framing. The end result, in simple terms, is an unholy stack of corners.

Posted are two photographs showing my progress after about ten hours of work. I really like the clean, bright look of the metal. Additionally, I managed to wrestle all this sharp-edged material into place with only three minor cuts to my person, none of which required a visit to Doctor Desiree.

The Daylight Basement Wall

Corner Details

—Mitchell Hegman