Prepared to Fill my Hands

Billy’s longhorn cattle have been busting out of their fence and trying, on occasion, to put a sneak on our yard to eat the good stuff Desiree has been tending there. The answer to that, naturally, is to go full-frontal Western.

I now have my trusty Red Ryder air rifle stationed at the front door. If the longhorns plod near my yard, I fill my hands, storm out the door, and shoot the cattle in the ass.

It’s impressive how quickly a few well-placed shots persuade the longhorns to pivot to a new direction.

My Red Ryder Air Rifle

—Mitchell Hegman

Pale Juniper

As an electrician, I made a career out of calling attention to stuff that bothered me. In the construction industry, electricians are known for being, shall we say, persnickety. Apparently, this trait has chased along into my retirement.

Stuff is still bothering me.

Today we need to chat about pale junipers because they have been bothering me for quite some time. Here’s the thing: in theory, we have only one type of juniper tree growing in our region, the Rocky Mountain juniper. But on my property, I have several junipers that are pale green compared to the vast majority. The bark on the young branches is even slightly lighter in color.

Explain that, please.

I sent AI a couple of photographs comparing the pale juniper to others, and then we engaged in a lengthy discussion. In the long run, we both figure the pale junipers are the same species, but the pale types have a slight genetic kink. In my way of thinking, it’s equivalent to humans with blonde hair and blue eyes compared to brunettes with brown eyes. Both still have car payments, dirty dishes in the sink, an aversion to cold weather, and are otherwise human.

I’m a little less bothered now, but the electrician in me will never fully let go.

I have posted a photograph of two junipers growing side-by-side, with the pale juniper on the left. In person, the contrast is striking.

Junipers Growing Side-By-Side

—Mitchell Hegman

The Rocky Mountain Papaya

Papaya trees are botanical oddballs. For starters, they aren't really trees. They are giant herbs pretending to be trees, capable of reaching 30 feet on a soft, somewhat hollow trunk. They cluster enormous leaves at the top while the fruit grows directly from the trunk, as though the plant forgot to grow branches and decided to improvise. They are also in a hurry, sprinting from seed to producing fruit in about a year.

Papayas also have an unusual reproductive arrangement. Individual plants can be male, female, or hermaphroditic, with some capable of pollinating themselves. Unfortunately, papayas have zero interest in challenging a windblown Montana winter. Papayas crave heat, sunshine, and tropical conditions.

Now, the strange thing: Desiree sliced open a papaya a few days ago and stuffed a few sections with seeds intact in the refrigerator. When I grabbed a slice for a snack, I discovered that one of the seeds had germinated, pushing forth a miniature tusk of a thing.

I think it likes Montana.

I put the sprout in a bowl with a wet paper towel for a bed. I’m considering giving the papaya a run in the sunroom if it doesn’t perish.

Germinating Papaya Seed

Full-Grown Papaya (Wikifarmer)

—Mitchell Hegman

Wine with a Twist

Sometime back, a self-proclaimed wine connoisseur informed me that no self-respecting person would purchase wine that comes in a bottle with a twist top rather than a cork.

It’s just bad policy.

If there is any validity to this, I now have a peculiar problem. My go-to red wine for the last fifteen years has arrived in a bottle with a cork. But when I picked up a half dozen bottles to replenish my stock a couple of days ago, two of them had twist tops.

I lay no claim to being any sort of wine whatchamacallit, and I don't wish to trespass upon anyone's wine sensibilities, but I fully intend to twist the tops off the bottles and drink the wine.

I suppose I’ll need to describe it differently now, too: My wine has an earthy start with a trailer-park, twist-top finish.

I have posted a photograph comparing two bottles of the same wine.

Cork on the Left, Twist on the Right

—Mitchell Hegman

Six Corner Pieces

Now that the seasons are changing and we are slipping toward winter and more time indoors, it’s time for me to work on jigsaw puzzles. Yesterday, I started sorting pieces for one. Every piece of the 1000-piece puzzle is uniquely shaped. Some are shaped like animals, fruit, or other familiar objects.

As always, I first try to sort out the edge and corner pieces as an assembly strategy. I quickly bumped into a weird problem: I found six of the four corner pieces I need.

I think we can all agree that a rectangular puzzle has only four right-angle corner pieces. Finding six of them rather stopped me in my tracks. Naturally, I consulted the picture of the puzzle and quickly identified four rightful corner pieces. Not long after, I found where the other two pieces will land as run-of-the-mill edge pieces.

I am sharing a photograph of the six corner pieces and another showing where the two oddball corners will be placed. I think we may be in for a wild ride on this puzzle.

Six Corner Pieces

Two Not-So Corner Pieces

—Mitchell Hegman

Distracted Working

I’ve seen plenty of warnings out there cautioning people not to drive while distracted, but apparently, I missed all the warnings about working while distracted. Yesterday, while finishing the last few details on the metal I installed on the cabin’s lower wall, I learned a valuable lesson about that.

I’m sharing a photograph of my drill. Somehow, I managed to fall out of focus enough to chuck my pencil in my drill instead of the twist bit I needed. The only thing I can say is that at least I was not likely to harm anyone, and an eraser could have fixed any damage done.

My Drill with a Pencil in the Chuck

—Mitchell Hegman

Fault Line

I have posted one of my favorite songs by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (sometimes abbreviated to BRMC), an American rock band from San Francisco, California. The group was founded in 1998 by Peter Hayes (vocals, guitar, harmonica), Robert Levon Been (vocals, bass, guitar), and Nick Jago (drums).

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club is considered an alternative rock or garage rock band. They are straightforward and stripped down in most of their songs. Fault Line, the song posted, is simply beautiful in my estimation.

—Mitchell Hegman

Video Link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATtXvIpa4gc