Driving Big Stuff, Part 2

I mentioned in yesterday’s installment of this blog that Desiree suggested she was ready to start driving a propane truck.  Today I am posting a photo of her preferred truck driving outfit, which makes it abundantly clear she may drive the truck but she has no intention to deliver product.

Desiree’s Propane Truck Driving Outfit

—Mitchell Hegman

Driving Big Stuff

Now that our roads have once again cleared of snow and ice, Desiree has been practicing her driving.  Yesterday, she drove partway into town and partway back home again on a trip to scoop up a few groceries.

Desiree had no experience in driving before arriving in Montana.  She has struggled some with judging how to remain in her lane when navigating corners but did a great job with all of them on the way home.   As we dropped down the final hill leading us to our house, I complimented her: “You did a good job driving today.  I think you’re ready to drive a jeepney.”

Without hesitation, she responded, “I can drive a propane truck!”

A Jeepney in the Philippines

A Propane Truck in Montana

—Mitchell Hegman

Things I Have Learned by Standing in My Sunroom

• Orion stands guard above us throughout February.
• There will be fresh tomatoes and chives.
• On the outside, curved glass collects 800% more grit and grim than vertical panes.
• Naked is not always your best option.
• You can watch birds flyyyyyyyyyyy all the way by!
• It is possible to feel the weight of sunlight on you.
• Sunrooms are where dreams of gardens are born.

—Mitchell Hegman

Following the Sun

The production of electricity from a solar photovoltaic (PV) array is, obviously enough, dependent on access to sunlight.   Direct, unobstructed sunlight is optimum.  If the array is of fixed design (not tracking the sun), the production of energy on a clear day, if expressed in a graph, will form of a curve that mirrors the very arc of the sun as it climbs and crosses the sky from sunrise to sunset. 

Most PV arrays, including mine, monitor and report data relative to equipment function and energy production.  Among other things, my system can provide a graph featuring power production for the entire day.  The graph is comprised of bars representing fifteen-minute increments.

To illustrate the direct relationship between the sun’s track across the sky and energy production, I am posting a track of the sun plotted through the sky followed by a graph featuring a full day of energy production from my PV array. 

For the sake of making this more interesting, the power production graph I chose represents August 21, 2017.  On that day, a solar eclipse temporarily threw shade across Montana and eroded production on an otherwise sunny day.

Sun Track

PV System Output (With an Eclipse)

—Mitchell Hegman

Sunrise to Sunset: (https://sunrise-sunset.org)

Our Flag

I woke from a brief but particularly vivid dream late last night.  In the dream, I found myself sitting in a balcony seat high within a crowded theater.  On the stage floor below, a man dressed in a dark suit stood before a screen, speaking.  He would name a country and then say: “And this is their flag.”

Each time he did this, a flag comprised of simple blocks or stripes of color appeared on the screen.

“These are boring flags,” the speaker concluded after showing several flags.  “All of them.”

Here is our flag!” he bellowed.  With this said, the stars and stripes exploded into view on the screen.  “Our flag is joyous.  Our flag is a celebration.”

I suddenly fluttered awake.  Though now faced with darkness, the image of the U.S. flag remained imprinted within me.

—Mitchell Hegman

Dieting Made Easy

Successful dieting involves eating less as much as changing the type of foods consumed.  Staying on track when dieting is not easy.   While chatting with a buddy about dieting, he mentioned that vegetarian stuffed bell peppers provided him with a particular favorite meal.

“That would totally work as a diet meal for me,” I suggested., “because I would skip dinner if that was my only option.”

I would just as soon stomp a bell pepper to pieces as eat one.

—Mitchell Hegman

Only a Rookie Would Say That

Following a fortnight of moderating weather, winter is once more crowding my back door.  An Arctic impulse came kicking at us with bitterly cold north winds, dropping the temperature by dozens of degrees in only a few hours.  Rain turned to snow.   Snowmelt puddles all around us froze solid.

As I write this, the temperature outside stands at -2 Fahrenheit.

Only a week ago, I suggested to Desiree that we were about to stride from winter to spring.

A stupid, rookie thing to say in Montana, that.

In reality, only one statement regarding weather in Montana is accurate, and remains accurate at all times.

And here it is: “Around these parts, winter is just around the next corner.”

—Mitchell Hegman

A Ready Answer

While fluttering around on the internet, I chanced upon a collection of queries from people interested in vacationing in Montana.  Most questions were predictably mundane: What is a cool town to visit?   Where can I find unusual tourist attractions?

Within the mix, I also found the following enquiry: “What is there to do between Bozeman and Missoula?”

I have a ready answer: “You can drive between them.”

—Mitchell Hegman

Craving

I no longer grapple with big, existential questions as I did in my youth.  I have simplified my thinking and now merely wonder how I started craving broccoli instead of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

—Mitchell Hegman

Drummond

My maternal grandfather carried the given name of George and a middle name of Drummond.  In his honor, I was given George as my middle name.

That’s good stuff and I am proud to carry his name.  In my eyes, he ranks as a real-life hero.  At the same time, I wish I was able to give his middle name to someone.

Although there was that time in 1982 when I and the sister of my then girlfriend made a snowman and named him Drummond.

The name Drummond, in my estimation, resonates with power.  It is, like my grandfather, of Scottish origin and means “ridge”.

I am thinking it is not too late for another generation to adopt the name.

Are you listening, another generation?

Drummond, 1982

—Mitchell Hegman

Studying the National Electrical Code

Later today, I am teaching a continuing education course for electricians based on the National Electrical Code.   Strangely enough, I enjoy the Code.  In my years of teaching these classes, I have also found that the vast majority of electricians appreciate such courses and find the National Electrical Code an interesting study.

I mean, what how can you not find interest in calling the hot wire an “ungrounded conductor” or calling the electrical inspector “the authority having jurisdiction”?

That’s some good stuff right there.

—Mitchell Hegman

An Investment

After much reflection, I have concluded that sitting in the hot tub in the predawn of late winter with Desiree to watch shooting stars is a far better investment than sitting on the sofa to watch the news.

—Mitchell Hegman

Two Sides

After spending a good portion of last night flopping back and forth between my left and right side in a mostly vain effort to find the best one for sleeping, I am thankful I have only two of them to deal with.

—Mitchell Hegman

Montana is Convenient

As part of celebrating our first Valentine’s Day together, Desiree and I rustled up a bottle of champagne for an after-dinner drink.

“We need to chill this,” I suggested to Desiree as I held up our selected bottle of   champagne in the early afternoon (just before taking a required nap).  I poked my finger at the label.  “Says so right here.”

Desiree gestured toward the refrigerator.

“Nope,” I said.  “Sometimes, Montana is convenient.  This baby is going outside in a snowbank.”

After making this proclamation, I marched out and jammed the bottle into a bank that developed off the end of my back deck.

Our Champagne Chilling in a Snowbank

—Mitchell Hegman

I Never Liked St. Valentine

I have nothing against Valentine’s Day and I am excited about spending the day with Desiree.  At the same time, I really like the song I am posting.

Today, I give you “I Never Liked St. Valentine” by the band Reckless Kelly:

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvWoSGGd90w

Not an Unpleasant Observation

Desiree often takes along a light snack and a bottle of water when we drive to town with several errands in mind.  The other day, she grabbed a pack of BelVita blueberry breakfast biscuits.  Naturally, I wanted to eat one within a quarter-mile of leaving the house.

After eating the biscuit, something about the taste struck me and I asked for another.

“I am going to say something weird,” I announced after munching down the second blueberry biscuit.  “To me, these BelVita’s taste exactly like the scent of a rose.  It’s the same sensation to me.”

Instead of telling me I was nutty, Desiree took a bite of one of the remaining biscuits.  After eating it, she said: “I get what you’re saying.”

In the event you are unfamiliar with BelVita biscuits, I have posted a photograph of a pack (which I am about to eat).  Try one.  I swear to you, they taste like the aroma of a rose.

This is not an unpleasant observation.

—Mitchell Hegman

Not Necessarily a Bad Investment

At the age of nineteen, I chanced upon book of poems by Richard Hugo while browsing through a bookstore.  I don’t know why I picked up the book, but I did.

Hugo’s poems immediately drew me in.  He wrote about places I knew: Missoula, Wisdom, Milltown, Philipsburg, and Kicking Horse Reservoir.  Drunks and workingmen and fishermen wandered in and out of his hammering verses.

I purchased the book and read his poems repeatedly, sometimes aloud, and I found myself falling in love with contemporary poetry.  Soon enough, I picked up books by other contemporary poets.

Looking back upon my life, I have invested hours upon hours sitting in sunny spots, alone, reading poems, sometimes writing my own.

From the outside, my love for contemporary poetry may appear to have been a bad investment.  Poetry has not filled my pockets.  The poems that reach me often fail to reach others.  To my old drinking buddies, the purposeful twists of phrase are simply confounding.

But within me, the proper poem read at the appropriate hour satisfies me in a way nothing else does.

Cheers, Richard Hugo!

—Mitchell Hegman

Cornish Game Hens (Taking Measure)

“What’s that?” Desiree asked as we pushed our shopping cart alongside a pair of frozen food coffin cases.  She stopped walking and pointed.

I laughed.  “You haven’t noticed those before?

“No.”

“Those are Cornish game hens,” I informed her.

“They are small,” she responded in a surprised-sounding tone.  “I want to try one of those.”

“I like them,” I told her.  “To me, they taste like a Hungarian partridge, one of our game birds.”

We purchased three of the frozen birds and, yesterday, Desiree baked two of them along with a mix of lemon grass and chopped vegetables.  The birds turned out spectacularly good.

I had forgotten how delicious and how small they are. 

While expressing how good the birds tasted is wholly subjective, I thought I might illustrate how small the birds are using my favored unit of measure: a Cold Smoke beer.

Taking Measure with a Cold Smoke Beer

—Mitchell Hegman

A Foot-Dragger

Apparently, I am a foot-dragger.  This not something I notice when walking, but my shoes – especially, my left shoe, reveal weird and noticeable wear spots on the outside of the heels.

I am posting photographs of what I call my “kick-around” shoes.  They are an older pair I wear for rough use.  I noticed the wear on my shoes when removing them after applying a whitewash stain to some window trim for our latest home improvement project.

Clearly, as revealed by the wear spots, my stride is lazy or abnormal in some manner.  Yet, I don’t notice when I am walking.

The wear on my shoe makes me wonder about other aspects of my life.  I wonder if, for example, I exhibit an equivalent of strange ‘wear patterns’ in my speech.  What shortcoming might be revealed in my sloppy and abnormal handwriting?  What weird reasoning do scuff away at without my noticing?

   

The Outsole of My “Kick-Around” Shoes

Left Shoe Wear

—Mitchell Hegman

Lemon Tree Progress Report

Strangely enough, one of my bigger reasons for building a sunroom was a desire to grow a lemon tree.  Given our northerly location and continental climate, a sunroom is the perfect place for a lemon tree.

Last October, with sunroom construction finally completed, Desiree urged a lemon seed to germinate in a small flower pot.  A small green flag emerged from the soil within a couple weeks.

In the time since, a sturdy little seedling has grown in the small pot Desiree provided.

From what I have read, we might expect our tree to mature enough to produce a lemon in three to six years.  I am hoping for a landing on the three-year side of this equation, but just having a growing lemon tree is satisfying enough for now.

I have posted a picture of the lemon tree alongside a Cold Smoke Beer (my base unit of measure).  In matters of lemon trees, being bigger than a Cold Smoke is a good thing.

Our Lemon Tree Alongside a Cold Smoke Beer

—Mitchell Hegman

Unusual Tools and Machines

I normally avoid posting videos more than four minutes in length.  Today, I am making an exception.  The video I am sharing is a bit longer.  It features a wide array of unusual tools and machines at work.

Both Desiree and I found the video fascinating.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3njfXPaXnQ4

Fake Guns are the Real Deal

Growing up and living in Montana provided me with a balanced view and understanding of firearms.  I have owned and used firearms for my entire life.  Additionally, many of my friends are gun enthusiasts and gun collectors.

I thought I held a pretty good grasp regarding the value of the more “collectable” firearms.  Not so.  While fluffing about on the internet, I chanced upon a story that shocked me.  Turns out, the real money is in fake guns.

Recently, Illinois-based Rock Island Auctions sold Han Solo's blaster from the original Star Wars trilogy for $1,057,500.

Even though I don’t need to say this, I will: That’s a lot of money for a fake gun.

The prop gun, known in Star Wars lore as a BlasTech DL-44 Heavy Blaster, was one of three used by actor Harrison Ford during the filming of 1977's Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.  The sale price earned the blaster the title of the most expensive prop gun sold at auction.

Hans Solo’s BlasTech DL-44 Heavy Blaster

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: UPI

A Winter Harvest

Desiree is not allowing winter to hold her back.  She is not afraid to get out there in the snow to play or get things done.  We have done all manner of winter activities, including snowshoeing and downhill skiing.

Over the weekend, at her request, we drove to the mountains to harvest watercress from a snowbound mountain stream.  Desiree not only picked watercress from the chill running water – she waded right in to do so.

Enjoying a temperature of 40 degrees, we spent an hour or so harvesting green rosettes from the water.

We have gathered watercress previously and Desiree has learned to incorporate the green, peppery-flavored rosettes into some of her Filipino dishes.  Desiree has impressed me immensely with her full-on embrace of our north-country lifestyle.  There is a mountain girl inside our petite Pacific Islander.

     

Desiree Alongside the Creek

Watercress

Desiree Harvesting in the Creek

—Mitchell Hegman

Alcohol Consumption

Some of my old drinking buddies from my hometown of East Helena, Montana, are bound to be disappointed.  To be sure, they did their part, but, apparently, the rest of Montana held them back.

In a recent study comparing alcohol consumption state by state, Montana ranked 5 down from the top of the list.

The study, conducted by The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, determined the annual gallons of alcohol consumed per capita in each state.  Surprisingly, New Hampshire, with a measure of 4.67 gallons, placed number 1 on the list.

Not surprisingly, Washington DC landed at number 2, with 3.77 gallons consumed annually per capita.  What goes on there can’t be done in a state of sobriety. 

To land in the number 5 position, Montana tallied 3.1 gallons.

Utah came in at 1.35 gallons, which ranked it as the state with the lowest consumption.

Fortunately, here in Montana, cows (which we call “cattle”) still remain more numerous than people.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source:  https://worldpopulationreview.com

Jobs are Bad

Yesterday, the U.S. Department of Labor released the job and unemployment report for January.  According to the report, nonfarm payrolls (jobs) increased by 517,000.  Economic analysts had estimated a growth of only 187,000 prior to the official numbers.  Additionally, the unemployment rate fell to 3.4% versus the estimate for 3.6%. This is the lowest jobless level since May 1969.

Silly me.  I have always thought that adding jobs was good news.  This is not so.  Upon hearing the news of more jobs than anticipated, the U.S. stock indexes dropped dramatically.

Adding jobs is bad.

At present, central banks are elevating interest rates in an effort to tame inflation.  In this scheme, slowing the economy and not putting money in worker’s pockets is a good thing.

Apparently, the last thing we need right now is a good economy, as indicated by more jobs.  Wall Street is fearful good job numbers will trigger another interest rate hike.

High interest is bad for investments.

As I think about this, I recall a construction superintendent I worked with on several jobs.  As a joke, he would often walk up to me on the jobsite, stand beside me for a moment, then say, “I get so confused,” and walk away again without saying another word.

I believe this is how the economy works.

So, in the end, none of it makes sense to me and I am going to go watch more documentaries about serial killers.

—Mitchell Hegman

Molly

I have been watching Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story, a mini-series on Netflix.

The series is freaking me out.

Jeffrey Dahmer was one of the creepiest serial killers to have haunted the American landscape.  He performed strange and inhuman acts on his victims and their remains.  Ultimately, between 1978 and 1991 he murdered and dismembered 17 men.

The freakiest aspect of the series for me, though, is Molly Ringwald.  Molly portrays Shari Dahmer, Jeff Dahmer’s stepmother. in the series.

In my mind, Molly should always remain in the mid-1980s – on display there as the wholly grounded teen girl in the movies Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and Pretty in Pink.

I get a little queasy each time Molly appears next to Jeffrey Dahmer.  Placing Molly Ringwald alongside Jeffrey Dahmer seems dangerously close to violating a law of physics.

Molly Ringwald

—Mitchell Hegman

Painting Skills

I put my house painting skills to the test yesterday by painting a bedroom closet.  This particular closet proved tricky because I needed to paint around three permanent woodgrain shelves and all the trim within the closet.

To begin, I spent thirty minutes applying masking tape before even lifting my paintbrush and roller.  Once I did start painting, I was enormously careful not to slop paint on the shelves and door trim.

All this while having to contort my body to work within the confines of the closet.

I can now announce that my painting project turned out perfect – not a stray drop or smudge of paint on either the shelves or trim.

But this is a Mitch story and the good news must end there.

By the time I finished the project, some three hours after starting, my hands, my face, my hair, my shirt, my pants, my shoes, and even my smartphone were covered with smears of latex paint.

—Mitchell Hegman

Furniture Assembly

About a week ago, I ordered a plant table online.  Yesterday, the table arrived in the form of a long, narrow box.  Desiree and I immediately assembled the table and, I must say, the assembly developed into a most unusual experience.

First, the box of unassembled pieces arrived tattered and worn from shipping.  The cardboard appeared to have been taped back together after coming apart.  Even with that, the pieces inside were in perfect condition and none appeared to be missing.

After sorting the pieces, Desiree read through the assembly instructions, which were both clear and concise.   After fetching a screwdriver, I joined Desiree on the carpet so we could fasten the table together using the various screws and hardware provided.

Amazingly, the table pieced together effortlessly, leaving us with extra screws and hardware after we finished.  And, in the weirdest twist, the table turned out both sturdy and handsome.

Desiree With Preassembled Pieces

Our Plant Table at Work

—Mitchell Hegman