Updated List of Stuff I Don’t Like
• Mayonnaise
• Warts (Sort of a no-brainer there)
• May 11th
• Mayonnaise on anything (I am not buying into Miracle Whip, either)
• Mud falling off my shoes onto my kitchen floor.
• The word “groovy” used by anyone more that twice in a three-year period.
• Mayonnaise just sitting there, looking at me
• Ghosts that open doors instead of close them
• My Adele CD skipping (Note to self: upgrade to new storage medium for tunes)
• Driving from light into winter darkness (Without stars)
• Gnats in my ear
• Green peppers
• Gnats being spelled g-n-a-t-s
• Gnats stuck in mayonnaise
• Remembering how my wife’s hand felt clasped inside mine, on May 11th, as she left me
--Mitchell Hegman
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