Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Miley Cyrus Did a Bad, Bad Thing


At about noon yesterday, rummy from several hours of work on my computer, I went for a walk through the ranchlands that surround my house.  That’s where I saw the white cabbage butterflies.
They were having sex in mid-air.
Sometimes, I guess being an insect has its advantages.  Obviously, the ability to copulate in midair is one of them.  Naturally, I stopped to watch them tumble around just above the dry grass considering the possibilities.
That is interesting, I thought.
Way earlier in the morning, I happened to watch a bit of news for the first time in many days.  That’s where I saw Miley Cyrus half-naked and grinding out suggestive moves on the Video Music Awards.  Well, the grinding and wiggling part of the performance was fine, but did Miley Cyrus really need to drag teddy bears into all that sexual connotation?
I like teddy bears.
Miley also had a great deal of trouble keeping her tongue in her mouth—which may be some indication of a medical condition, though I don’t know what that medical condition may be.  Toward the end of the performance, Miley appeared to be pleasuring herself with an oversized foam finger.  Really, she did not look all that attractive just then.  When I glanced at her head to avoid watching the foam finger, I thought, Geez, she looks like an albino Chia Pet.  Not that interesting.
The whole Miley Cyrus performance reminded me of a rock concert I saw in Missoula, Montana, many years ago.  I think Jethro Tull headlined the concert.  The warm-up band featured a somewhat overweight lead singer who sweated profusely.  Throughout most of the warm-up set, the lead singer used a towel to wipe the sweat from his face and exposed chest.  During the last song of their performance, the lead singer attempted to throw the towel out into the audience.  Normally, people will grab things rock performers toss into the audience and keep them as treasures.  Nobody wanted that big guy’s sweaty towel.   People in the audience kept flinging it back onto the stage.   
--Mitchell Hegman

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