In my way of thinking it is going to take more than
pink lipstick, a slinky nightgown and six stiletto heels to make a girl
cockroach sexy, but as luck would have it I might be a perfect match for sexy
girl cockroaches.
Female cockroaches prefer wimps.
Some researchers think that female cockroaches
prefer docile to socially inept males because they make for gentle lovers. A more aggressive male might injure their
female partner. Given this, a meek poem-reciting
male (me) will likely be more attractive than a burly football-playing type
(most males).
Cockroaches are also the touchy-feely type—thingmotropic
in scientific terms—they rather crave the feeling of something touching against
them. Nothing would make a female
happier than a male who can only afford a small crack in a concrete foundation
where they can huddle together.
Save for a few isolated and ever tenuous populations
inadvertently transplanted into Montana, cockroaches do not extend their
habitat into our northern climate. Lucky
for me, I suppose. If something or
someone is attracted to me, I tend to reciprocate.
--Mitchell Hegman
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