Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Monday, September 30, 2019

November is for Serial Killers


Here is a weird thing.  More serial killers have been born in November than any other month.  Among those: Ted Bundy and Charles Manson.
According to the website UberFacts: “Seventeen serial killers were born in November, compared with an average of nine for other months, out of a total of more than 100 in the study. Those born in November are most likely to believe they get a raw deal. A 2005 study found that they grow up to be the most pessimistic.”
—Mitchell Hegman
Sources: investigationdiscovery.com, UberFacts

Sunday, September 29, 2019

A Stark Beacon


And one day, Michael accepted that a yard cluttered with disemboweled home appliances, rotten tires, warped dimension lumber, and tumbleweeds hugging everything was exactly what he always wanted.
This epiphany struck Michael as he dragged the crumpled fender from a Ford F-150 across one last patch of open lawn.
 A flock of starlings dislodged as he neared a dark stack of tires.  He watched the flock of birds lift, ripple into the sky, swing across the street, turn inside out as a whole, and alight in a white birch tree in his neighbor’s yard.
“Pussy birds,” he muttered.  Just like his neighbors, the pussy birds were always fussing and complaining.
Michael appreciated eagles and hawks.  A raptor.  That’s a bird, Michael thought.
“You stay over there,” he admonished the birds in an elevated voice.
Michael propped the fender inside-out against the tires.  Inside-out so the lighter side faced his neighbors across the street like a stark, unblinking beacon in a free yard in a free country.
—Mitchell Hegman

Saturday, September 28, 2019

“C” Shape

A few moments ago, as I sipped at my first cup of coffee, my cat flopped down near my feet, converted himself into a “C” shape, and began vigorously licking at his butt.
His conviction to the process was most admirable.
On one hand, this was quite an impressive feat.
On the other hand…this is a really weird way to start the day. 
—Mitchell Hegman

Friday, September 27, 2019

All the Elements


A personal ad (written using the elements and style suggested in a “how-to-write” blog and inspired by watching Lifetime Channel movies):
I am a male in my mid-forties.  I enjoy trombone music and I spend most Saturdays hanging out at my buddy’s small engine repair shop.
I have grown a bit weary of listening to the voices in my head and would like a companion who is actually there.
I am seeking a female companion who is not afraid to kick and slug people she doesn’t like.  I would prefer a redhead, or a woman with a lot of money who is willing to dye her hair red.
If you think we might be a match, give me a tap.  I have a special Saturday at the repair shop in mind!
—Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, September 26, 2019

All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace

In 1967, Richard Brautigan wrote a poem entitled “All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace.”   The poem was published within a collection of poems under the same title.  According to Wikipedia, 1,500 copies of the 36-page collection were printed at the Communication Company, and all were given away for free.
"All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace" is Brautigan's most frequently reprinted poem.   In the original 1967 publication, Brautigan included a copyleft statement which retains copyright but grants permission to reprint any poem in the collection so long as it's given away for free.    
I am not going to make you read the poem here.  But I will tell you, the poem is a somewhat over-optimistic view of a future where man and beast cohabitate happily with machines. 
We are now watched over by machines.  Drones and cameras.  Our automobiles are now attempting to drive us from place to place.  We regularly converse with our cars and devices within our homes.
I am a little suspicious about some of this.
Today, I am posting a video showing the grace and agility of a robot.  Not the attitudinal grace invoked by Richard Brautigan, but physical grace.  Astounding grace.  The robot in the video is from Boston Dynamics. 
For some reason, this frightens me a little.  What if this machine was coming after me?  How farfetched is that?
—Mitchell Hegman
Video Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sBBaNYex3E

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

My Immediate Needs This Morning


Here is a list of my immediate needs this morning:
Freshly brewed coffee
A map of Montana
My hand-written journal from 2011
20 pounds of housecat at my feet
Two minutes to think about my grandfather, George Drummond Bell
An apple
One more minute to think about my grandfather
—Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Not Passion


These days when I feel like I have an inner fire in me, it’s probably not my passion.  More often than not, it’s something I ate.
—Mitchell Hegman

Monday, September 23, 2019

Survival Skills


Yesterday, while visiting friends down at the lakeshore, I watched a young boy create a fifteen minute adventure with a length of fabric strap and a willow tree overhanging the lake.  “I am practicing survival skills,” he announced, as he whipped the strap about.
Good enough, I thought.
As adults, we actively confront and suppress such urges to play.  We have filled those spaces where we once played with exercise equipment, file cabinets stuffed with tax returns and mortgage papers, and cleaning supplies.
Our sense of wonder also fails us.
Give child a clock, and the child will listen for noise inside, examine all angles, and note the weight.  How does it work?  Why is that part round?  Why is this made square?
Give the very same clock to an adult and the adult will worry about the time and wonder about the accuracy.
We are practicing a different set of survival skills.
—Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Unhelpful Facts


—Male bees have sex once, and then they die because their testicles explode.
—A human body has enough iron in it to make a metal nail three inches long.
—People with blue eyes have a higher tolerance to alcohol.
—The average person walks the equivalent of 5 laps around the world during their lifetime.
—Pablo Picasso carried a revolver loaded with blanks, which he would fire at whoever asked him what his work “meant.”
—Phobophobia is the fear of having a phobia.
—The average person will spend a total of 3,680 hours, or 153 days searching for misplaced items.
—Mitchell Hegman
Sources: nova100.com, success.com

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Softened


Sometimes, I think a whole year of troubled thoughts might be moderated by that one single afternoon when you arrive home after a stressed day and find your cat peering at you from a nest within your clothes in your laundry basket.
—Mitchell Hegman

Friday, September 20, 2019

Morning Report, September 20, 2019

I wake to early-hour darkness.
My 20 pounds of housecat is rubbing himself against outside glass of the back door.  I let him in.  Feed him.
Start brewing coffee.
I have a decision to make.  Watch the news?  Or listen to Sirius XM?
With a couple quick taps on my television remote, Buddy Holly comes alive again right here in my living room.
I am all rock and roll today, baby.
End of morning report.
—Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, September 19, 2019

When the Sky Stopped Me


If you live in Montana, you must accept the fact you will experience times when you are driving someplace and the sky will stop you.
While driving across the valley the other day, this very thing happened to me. After taking a turn I have taken thousands of times before without thought, the sky struck me.  I found the next available turnout, pulled off the road, got out of my truck, and stood there just trying to take it in.  A sky so broad, so blue, and so clear even the boldest hawks refused to lift against it.
I stood there for several minutes, smiling.
—Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Harm


In the general sense, I don’t mean harm.  But I will admit to having a great deal of trouble fighting off the urge to stick metal forks and cans in the microwave and punching on the power button to let the sparks fly.
At your house, I mean.
Not mine.
—Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

The Freddy Mercury Pork Chop


I am guessing I am not trying hard enough.  I have never seen the image of Jesus in my toast.  I have not found the likeness of Elvis in a drying mud puddle.
None of that.
There is a term for finding familiar faces in smudges—for finding something familiar in abstract shapes and shadows and just about anything around us.
No…the term is not “nutty.”
The term is “pareidolia.”  It’s the human tendency to find patterns in randomness.  This is how we see faces in rocks, sleeping giants in mountain ranges, and poodles in passing clouds.  
Now, fast forward to a fellow named Derek Simms frying up some dinner the other night.  As he was frying up a pork chop, the images of something familiar—rather someone familiar—appeared on one side of his cut of meat.
There, on the slightly-overcooked pork chop, he saw Freddy Mercury, the long deceased singer for the band Queen.
So astounded was Derek Simms, he called his wife over to see the pork chop.  Awestruck, they took photographs of the cut.
After capturing a few images, they ate the pork chop for dinner.
Not quite museum quality that pork chop.

—Mitchell Hegman
Sources: Mirror, Huffpost

Monday, September 16, 2019

Happy and Waving


Yesterday, I pushed my pontoon boat onto the water and loaded onboard some friends. We slowly toured several miles of lake for one last sunny afternoon before winterizing.  Everywhere we cruised around the water, we encountered happy, waving-at-us people.  People on their boats.  People along the shore.  People on paddle boards.
Everyone happy and waving.

—Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Cigar-Shaped UFOs

Cigar-Shaped UFOs
For the last few months, the internet has been awash with reports of cigar-shaped UFO sightings.  These reports have been coming from all around the world.  Along with the reports, a host of videos have been captured. 
I am posting one of the videos this morning.
I have no idea what to make of this phenomenon.  I am sure some videos have been faked, but some look pretty real to me.
—Mitchell Hegman
VIDEO LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADAZ-9EVA9o

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Not Afraid of Change


I am not afraid of change.  What I am afraid of is meeting a hooded man on the street who will draw a gun on me and then force me inside a nearby dance studio and make me teach an aerobics class at gunpoint.
That’s the kind of stuff that keeps me awake at night.
—Mitchell Hegman

Friday, September 13, 2019

September Morning


Posted today are photographs from a midmorning stop yesterday at a public access site along the shores of Lake Helena.  The photographs were captured with my smarter-than-me-phone.

—Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, September 12, 2019

In Common


We all have our private wishes and dreams.  But most of us also have in common one wish—the wish to fall up into the sky when we finally perish.
—Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Nine-Eleven


Red, today, the wind-struck grasses in the shallowest swale.
White, today, the migrant birds whistling overtop us on their journey south.
Blue, today, the first honest light of day.
Purple, today, our remembrance of the city with two great towers.
—Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Svetlana


I woke with a horse standing over me.
Okay.  The horse is only a foot tall and a flat metal cutout affixed to the wall above my bed in a motel.  But still not my normal way of waking.
I am in Gillette, Wyoming.
I am here for the funeral services of my nephew’s mother-in-law, Svetlana.  She passed just last week.  Another victim of cancer.
Cancer.
I don’t hate much.
Cancer, I hate.
Svetlana, and my Nephew’s wife, Natalia, came to this country from Uzbekistan. Situated below Russia and having a small section of border shared with Afghanistan, Uzbekistan was once a part of the Soviet republic.  Svetlana and Natalia spoke Russian as their native tongue.  Some of her family lives in Moscow.
My Nephew, a former Navy SEAL, met Natalia in Afghanistan.  She, at the time, was working as an interpreter at the Russian consulate.  My Nephew was working security details for Brown and Root.
A match made in war.
Today we say farewell to Svetlana, mother of Natalia. 
Svetlana will be committed to the earth.  Tomorrow horses will be above her.  Horses on the long prairie.  Horses prancing through the honey-colored grass at summer’s end.
—Mitchell Hegman

Monday, September 9, 2019

Rain Gauge

I don’t have a rain gauge at my house.  I had one out here for a stretch of something near ten years.  Over the course of that time, I made a few observations that allow me to gauge rainfall by other means.
One of the surest measures of precipitation is made by watching to see if puddles form on the gravel road to my house.
To form puddles on the road, at least a quarter-inch of rainfall is required.
A half-inch of rainfall joins together the puddles like the links of a chain.
An alternate method for gauging rain is my cat.
This morning, I let him in after a night out in the rain.  He is now sprawled across my lap, half-soaked.
A quarter-inch of rain, that.
—Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Gifts from Crows


Crows, in my estimation, are something akin to tumbleweeds.  I mean, they are relatively cool and interesting sometimes, but when you get a bunch of them collected together they are mostly a nuisance.  Like tumbleweeds.
Crows don’t sing pretty like western meadowlarks.  They are not festively colored like western tanagers.  They are not swift and agile as mountain bluebirds.  They will not take seeds from my hands as will the chickadees.
Crows are workmanlike.
The other day, I chanced upon a story about a woman in San Francisco who befriended—by her own estimation—two families of crows.
The woman, Melinda Green, started feeding the crows congregating around her Marina District apartment.  She has been feeding them for three years.  Early on, the she and the crows settled into a routine where they watch her apartment and don’t fly in to collect treats from the windowsill and fire escape until she has raised her curtains.
In exchange for the food, the crows began bringing gifts.  The crows have left Melinda pieces of a champagne bottle, gummy bears, colorful rocks, bones, nuts and strange bits of antique electronics.  In the three years, she has watched the original (parent) crows teach their offspring the same rules for the feeding and gifting.
Okay.  I like that.
And such gifting by crows has been documented before.
Why, I wonder, to they leave the particular things they do?  Do crows imagine some special value in the shiny objects given to Melinda Green?  Why not eat the gummy bears themselves?  What do they find—or imagine Melinda will find—valuable in the electronics?
But here it is.  I am a rock collector.  Any birds willing to bring me pretty rocks are pretty cool in my estimation.  Giving her rocks makes sense to me.
—Mitchell Hegman
Source: UPI

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Mistakes, Not Mistakes


I sat under a lodgepole tree and gave consideration to my life.  What might I consider as my mistakes?   What events and decisions were not mistakes?
I thought long, sitting there under the tree.
Of immediate contemplation.  What about resting my forearm against the muffler of a chainsaw I had just shut-down after swinging it like a screaming sword to whack a pile of branches into pieces?
The result a burn.  That: MISTAKE.
But what beyond that?
Marrying a Vietnamese refugee: NOT A MISTAKE.
Trying to adjust the carburetor on my 1964 my Ford Mustang: MISTAKE.
Career as an electrician: NOT A MISTAKE.
Sitting next to the French woman while on the Li River tour boat in Southern China: MISTAKE
Taking some kind of camera everywhere I go: NOT A MISTAKE.
Not taking photographs of people: MISTAKE.
Learning to juggle: NOT A MISTAKE.
Stomping on ants: MISTAKE.
Stomping around the dance floor: NOT A MISTAKE.
Buying potato chips: MISTAKE.
Learning to tie my own shoes: NOT A MISTAKE.
Trying to find value in silence: MISTAKE.
Catching the first pink light of day: NOT A MISTAKE.
—Mitchell Hegman

Friday, September 6, 2019

The Forgetting Stones


Sometimes, when I am troubled and my mind is filled with stocky little construction workers jackhammering at my emotions, I will leave the front door of my house and walk into the hills directly surrounding.
Yesterday found me so distressed.  A friend’s father gone early in the morning.  My own struggles to pin-down a more exact form of happiness.  At the highest sun, I exited my house and wandered eastward into the now dry hills. Most of these hills are comprised of diluvium from flooding that marked the end of the last ice age some ten-thousand years ago.
Not far into the hills, I came across a shoulder of earth where a variety of stones have pushed themselves up through the loam and grasses.
Beautiful stones.  Some finely polished by ancient waters.  Rough fists of schist.   Opaque stones.  Stones marbled-through with festive colors.  Deep red stones.  Deep blue stones.  Shales.  Quartz.  Stones with stripes.  Striking unknowns.
Soon, I found myself taking up stones to examine them.  I burnished a few with my fingers and palms.  I licked some to wet them and announce deeper colors.  I scrubbed smaller specimens against the shirt on my chest.  I nudged at half-buried rocks with my feet.  I carefully replaced stones—exactly as I found them—if they did not fully send me.
Each stone a pretty and complete thing in itself.  Their exact places of origin a wonderful mystery to me.
Within a half hour, my mind became a quiet place.
I filled my pockets filled with the forgetting stones.
After something over an hour spent crisscrossing the shoulder of earth, I returned home heavier in stone but lighter in mind.

—Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Grasshoppers


I am not going to call the immediate area around my house “my yard.”   It’s not a yard in any normal sense.  And, in spite of what a few of my friends say, my yard is not filled with weeds.
My yard is native xeriscape.  I have attempted to emulate (if not fully join with) the landscape surrounding.
Sure, I have a couple fancy purple flowers near the deck.  I have a linden tree in front.  But the rest is unirrigated blue grama grass, needle and thread, native gayfeather, sagebrush, rabbitbrush, and juniper.
This year, the surround is also, as my father used to say, “lousy” with grasshoppers.
Zillions of hoppers.
I give you that grasshoppers are interesting in a general sense because their ears on their bellies.  I mean, try to imagine what someone you know would look like if their ears were on their belly.  Maybe your favorite actor.
Weird.
Red-winged grasshoppers are cool because, well, their wings are red.  And I even somewhat admire the jazzy kind of hopper that clicks as if flies.
At this point, however, I am overrun.  Grasshoppers cling to the side my house, hunch on the planks of my deck, fly in and tumble across my concrete drive.  If I dare walk in the now dry grass, a dozen hopper will launch out ahead of me with each step—as if at each footfall I am tripping catapults.
One remarkable aspect of the heavy grasshopper population is how the bluebirds have reacted.  For the past week, twenty to thirty bluebirds have gathered around my house all at once early in the mornings, to gorge on the hoppers.
The bluebirds, hover above the grass, drop to the ground, flourish, pirouette in midair, perch on my rain gutters, and fling themselves at the hoppers at every opportunity.
I have taken to sitting outside with my coffee to watch the bluebirds.
Nature at work.
Coffee.       
—Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Misinformed


I have never allowed being misinformed to slow me down.  This is how I ended up with investments that went upside down.  On the other hand, this is also how I galloped into the assignment of building the house in which I presently sit writing this.
—Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Men in Control of Their Own Destiny


Men convinced they are in complete control of their own destiny either spend their time attempting to control the destiny of others or they flail about in their personal life, seeking an ideal that does not exist, ending up with a string of feral relationships and drug dependencies.
—Mitchell Hegman

Monday, September 2, 2019

Updated List of Things that Make no Sense


Children Choosing Between Parents
Sneezing
Heated Towel Drawers
Owning More Than One Ball Peen Hammer
Ink Pens with Erasers
Flightless Birds
Wood Ticks
—Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Farewell Transmission

Today I am posting another song.  I had hoped to find a version of this particular cover with lyrics, but I could not locate one.
I find both the music and lyrics lush and deeply haunting.  The original writer of the song, Jason Molina, died at the age of 39 from organ failure attributed to alcohol-abuse.
Though the song is fairly long, I urge you to close your eyes and listen to the lyrics.
—Mitchell Hegman
Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acYkDTiQMRQ