In the year 2022 I will:
- Replace my worn throw rugs
- Start every campfire with only one match
- Find a sexier term for “throw rugs”
- Stand alongside Desiree Mariano at my bay window
- Read the instructions for anything I purchase
- Become a high-volume peanut butter user
- Fight my urge to straighten out the displays on grocery store gondolas
- Become a marksman with my Red Ryder air rifle
—Mitchell Hegman
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