Bits of Friendly Advice

Since we are at the outset of another year, I thought it might be a good time to offer a few bits of friendly advice. Here goes:

1. Don’t try to pronounce the word "vicissitude" if you have had more than two mixed drinks.
2. Remember, paying attention is not only free, but it’s also good for a marriage.
3. You can take a run at Dylan if you don’t sing well, but leave Adele to the pros.
4. The voices in your head will not be silenced by earplugs.
5. In Montana, we don’t use the phrase “normal weather.”
6. Leave a half-full glass of water in every room of the house—that way, whenever you walk into a room and forget why you did so, you can grab the glass and return it to the kitchen, giving you a reason to be there.

—Mitchell Hegman