Apparently, my ear has athlete’s foot. Well, if not actual athlete’s foot, then something suspiciously similar—a fungal infection lurking deep in the ear canal. The symptoms alternate between feeling like my heartbeat has relocated to my ear and like ants are having a knife fight in there.
Also, I’m hearing through what feels like a bale of cotton.
Yesterday, following a second trip to urgent care, I found
myself browsing the foot care section of a drugstore, looking for the topical
medicine the physician recommended—for my ear.
Can we talk about fungus for a second here?
For starters, I’m not a fan of mushrooms. Most of them
taste like bad dirt, and for some reason, many edible varieties make me
violently ill. I also find the mold that pops up on our food wholly
off-putting. It’s gross, right?
And the stuff in my ear? What’s the point, Mr. Fungus?
I’m listening—as best I can—for a valid answer.
—Mitchell Hegman
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