Somewhere in the gene pool, a glitch occurred when the selections for me were being sorted out. Now, all these years later, this mistake in human design has left me stranded on Super Bowl Sunday.
I
won’t be watching the game. Here’s the thing: my genetic mistake makes watching
football entirely tedious for me. Over the course of my life, I have watched,
surrounded by others who were intensely thrilled, exactly one Super Bowl game.
Aside from that, I once watched almost the entirety of a regular football game
while captive at a bar in East Helena in the early 1980s.
The
sport evades me. It strikes me as a lot of standing around, followed by brief,
intense moments of people with helmets and numbers on them rioting whenever a
football is picked up off the ground.
They
migrate back and forth on a striped field doing this stuff.
Hmmm.
Instead
of watching the game today, I’m going to walk around in the scattered timber
below my house and look for chickadees. There seems to be a critical shortage
of them this year.
—Mitchell
Hegman
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