Desiree and I recently upgraded to new smartphones. They came preloaded with a swath of apps and games we will never use. Vita Mahjong is one example. But that got me thinking about some apps I would enjoy having on my phone. Following is a list of those:
- A music app that converts songs you don't like into your choice of Stairway to Heaven or Knockin' on Heaven's Door.
- An app that locates the nearest bathroom.
- An app that emits a sound that will make ravens shut the hell up.
- A metal-cutting laser app.
- An app that remembers people's names for me.
- An app that makes hurt go away.
- An app that automatically slays spambots.
- An app that universally changes "creek" to "crick," the proper pronunciation for those of us who grew up in East Helena, Montana.
- An app that turns political arguments into recipes.
—Mitchell
Hegman
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