Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Thursday, August 20, 2026

The Broccoli Incident

I make salads. Desiree, owing to her vastly superior capabilities, covers all the other prep and cooking on either side of that.

I like to chop up all kinds of stuff to add to my salads. Nuts, sweet onion, olives, cabbage, and broccoli are commonly added to a base of kale, lettuce, spinach, and arugula.

Welp, yesterday I had a broccoli incident. Apparently, I got a little too frisky while chopping. As my buddy Kenny used to put it: “I was going at it like a one-armed man killing snakes.” Somehow, even while wearing glasses, a speck of broccoli flicked up into my right eye.

To be perfectly honest, it only sort of hurt, but if someone had been around, I would have played it up a bit. In the end, I merely rubbed my eye, and the broccoli vanished.

I would like my broccoli incident to serve as a cautionary tale. I’m not suggesting we need to start wearing safety glasses when chopping broccoli. But that particular broccoli clearly chose violence. And there may be others.

—Mitchell Hegman 

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