X, my dearest, seems as if my whole life has crashed against a single check-box on my tax withholding form. I had a choice to make and I have made that choice.
In the year last, I have seen my fill of sadness. I swallowed death whole. I gutted the inside of my home and poured pills and clothing and corn flakes and lipstick tubes and so many hundreds of items I shall never use into trash bags and then dragged them away. I took long walks outside my home and kicked-over stones just to see what creatures I might send scuttling off across the dun soil and through the blue grama grass and under the sage.
Welcome, all, to the circle of disruption.
But tell me, X, how did I not recognize the coming of this pile-up? There, near the bottom of the W-4 form, my decision to render. Two choices: “single” or “married.” Nowhere did I find a place to check “widowed” or “transitioned” or “saddened.” Not until I penned my check in the status of “single” did I fully recognize my new place.
--Mitchell Hegman
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