Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

First Friend


Uyen, my wife, was my first Facebook friend.  That makes sense—especially considering that she walked me through the process of joining Facebook.  I recall whimpering about how silly “friending” and “liking” was as she tried to explain the whole process.
“What?  Are we back in seventh grade here?” I groused.
“You’ll get used to all this,” she assured me.  “And now you will be able to see what Helen is up to.  She posts on Facebook all the time.”  My wife turned out to be correct about that (read everything here).  Through Facebook, I recently found out that my daughter—after returning from the Olympics in Rio—has become a marathon runner!
After helping me set-up my profile, Uyen sent me the very first friend request I ever received and showed me how to accept.
My first friend!
That was back in 2009, if memory serves.  We soon began posting back and forth.
Uyen passed in May of 2011.  I didn’t pay much attention to Facebook for a while after that.  Gradually, I worked my way back in.  Eventually, I began sharing these daily blogs.
Somewhere, about a year after Uyen’s death I decided to view her profile and I realized that she was no longer among my Facebook friends.
She was gone.
I was only able to access Uyen’s profile though Helen’s profile or by searching.
I did not unfriend her.  What happened?
I continued to view her profile—especially on her birthday or on the date of her passing.  I even tried to seize administration of her profile on her computer, hoping I could share a post every so often.  Then, about two years ago, with tears in my eye, I sent her a friend request.
I knew it would never be answered, but I feel better having it out there in the ether.
I never wanted to stop being her friend.

--Mitchell Hegman

5 comments:

  1. Do you by chance have her sign in information? We knew my sons' so I was able to keep his account active and he's still " my friend" and I can post on his page if I choose. FB will only either cancel the account if you ask, or "memorialize" it, in which case the account would not accept new friends. But you could manage the account if you knew her login info. I found pics on Matt's page that I had never seen. It was like finding treasure. 💙

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  2. I tried all kinds of sign-in information. She had written down a few things before passing and had a few things on her computer. Nothing I tried worked. Sigh.

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  3. Gads you are such a special person and only deserve the best. I how you can find her. My friend Jonathan passed a while ago but I still have his Facebook page. I post on it from time to time I wonder if that is why he is still my friend

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  4. Gads you are such a special person and only deserve the best. I how you can find her. My friend Jonathan passed a while ago but I still have his Facebook page. I post on it from time to time I wonder if that is why he is still my friend

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  5. Thanks, Anna. I am really mystified about how I ended up on the outside with Uyen. I may try to see about becoming an administrator for her profile.

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