We Can Keep This Friendly

We have been under a bright moon for the last few nights.  Both yesterday and this morning, I woke long before sunrise and immediately trotted outside to soak in my hot tub under the moonlight.

You don’t get much better than that!

This morning was gorgeous.  My hot tub lay under full moonlight.  The trees just below shown silver.  The surrounding mountains seemed almost luminescent.  I thought about a few projects I have planned for the day as I sat in the water.  I nearly drifted back to sleep.  

After soaking for about twenty minutes, I climbed out of the steaming water and stepped around the side of the tub to close the cover.

Say, that’s not 20 pounds of housecat!

There, less than ten feet away stood a skunk.

The skunk was facing me, his fuzzy tail upright.  I saw moonlight reflecting off his beady eyes.  “Listen, neighbor,” I half-whispered, “I think we can keep this friendly.  What do you think?”

The skunk did exactly opposite of what I expected.  Instead of turning away, the little fella started waddling in my direction.  “Not THAT friendly,” I yelped.

I was a wet, naked man.  A skunk approaching is (as my buddy, Rodney, would say) ungood.

I think I reacted just as any other wet, naked man would.  I quickly covered Winky and the Downhill Singers with one hand and galloped off into the house like cowboy on horseback.

The skunk waddled under my deck, which is built low the ground—low enough that I cannot crawl under it.

I am fully clothed as I write this.  I have downed two cups of coffee.

The skunk, as far as I know, is still hanging out under my deck. 

I am not sure what works as an effective skunk repellant, but as they say in some regions, I am fixin’ to find out.

In the meantime, maybe I can trick that girl into going out on the deck before I do.

--Mitchell Hegman