The Zamboni

If you are anything like me, you don’t eat fully ripened bananas and figure skating confuses you.

Oh, and you never wear underwear.   But we should talk about that later.

I have been watching the Winter Olympics skating events.  I enjoy some of the spinning and jumps.  But the scoring completely confounds me.  I cannot begin to fathom the long list of rules governing the judges when scoring a program.  The skaters seem to be dropping a tenth of a point at every swish of a skate.  I am guessing there is at least a two-tenths deduction if a skater sticks a finger in his or her ear during a spin.

I am also not terribly discerning when it comes to recognizing the various elements and jumps.  I don’t know a triple axel from a double-knotted shoe lace.  If a skater under-rotates something, I know only when one of the commentators mentions it. 

The only thing I know for certain is the Zamboni.

I cheer every time I see it.

-- Mitchell Hegman