My Biography Begins

I watched a biographical movie last night.  The movie opened with a sweeping camera shot of a city as seen from the ocean.  After a few seconds of steady view, the camera (obviously mounted to a helicopter) flew in at the city, which rapidly expanded across the screen.

Impressive, really. 

My biography would not begin like that.

My story begins with a horribly out-of-focus camera shot.  After a lot of obvious focus adjustments, the camera finally finds focus on an untied shoe.  Eventually, two hands reach down to grasp the laces.  The hands miss-tie the laces twice.  On the third attempt, one of the laces breaks.

The camera falls back out-of-focus.

—Mitchell Hegman