R B

I need to invent a last name.

For the purpose of telling this story, we will use O’Rourke.

Now the story.

Yesterday, while helping me burn a pile of slash from downed trees in the meadow at my cabin, my brother-in-law, Terry, told me about a story relayed to him by a gentleman he worked with.  When this gentleman enlisted in the service, he did so at the same time as a man named R B.  For the purpose of this story: R B O’Rourke.

While going though military paperwork with a clerk, R B was asked his name.

“R B O’Rourke,” he responded.

“I need your first and middle name.  Not initials,” the clerk said.

“All I know is R B,” said O’Rourke.  “That’s all I’ve ever been called.”

“This is important, son.  We need to identify you.”

A little frustrated, O’Rourke leaned in close and said stated with careful annunciation, “R, only.  B, only.”

The clerk filled out his name on the papers.

When issued his dog tags a bit later, the hero of our story was identified as Ronly Bonly O’Rourke.

—Mitchell Hegman