Early one morning, Frank Zappa met Abraham Lincoln for an Egg
McMuffin breakfast at McDonalds. They
sat at a table a table near a window talking and eating their food.
“I always admired your look in a stovepipe hat,” Frank Zappa
remarked as he watched Abraham Lincoln unwrap his breakfast sandwich. “Your distinctive appearance was shrewd
branding on your part.”
“The hat was effective in keeping my head dry,” said Abraham
Lincoln. He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed
a bit. “How many calories are in one of
these things, Frank?”
Naturally, as a weird genius, Frank Zappa knew the answer. “Three-hundred calories in an egg and cheese
McMuffin.”
Abraham Lincoln nodded. “I
always admired your steadfast non-conformity, Frank. While your music sometimes made me
uncomfortable, I have found it entirely unforgettable.”
“Thank you, I think.” Frank
Zappa took a bite of his own breakfast sandwich. “In a sense,” he added, “I suppose being
unforgettable is the entire point.”
Abraham Lincoln nodded. His
hat greatly exaggerated the movement.
“I gave my children unforgettable names. You set free the slaves. A bold move, that.”
“Yep.” Abraham Lincoln loudly
crumpled his breakfast sandwich wrapper.
“I am thinking we could afford another McMuffin—from the standpoint of
calories, I mean. What do you think?”
“Music to my ears, Mr. Lincoln.”
“Ha,” Abraham Lincoln responded.
“Yes, everything is music to you.
And… music is everything to you.
Please allow me to buy another McMuffin for each of us. Three-hundred calories.”
“Music again, sir” said Frank Zappa.
—Mitchell Hegman
There's a redundant word in the 1st paragraph! We in Hilo have a Frank Zappa Tribute yearly performed by the University of Hawaii-Hilo Jazz Orchestra! The other year, Frank's son, Dweezil Zappa, came over and joined the performance! Brought the house down!
ReplyDeleteEarly? Haha. I actually like the name Dweezil.
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