While watching a
certain reality program on television, I caught a segment in which a young
woman took a home pregnancy test.
In blunt terms, the
test used by the young women required her to pee on a widget. The widget detects the presence of a hormone
called human chorionic gonadotropin. This particular hormone is produced by the
placenta shortly after the embryo attaches to the uterine lining. If the hormone is detected, these detection widgets
will indicate in some manner—perhaps by displaying a “+” symbol or the
appearance of colored stripes.
I got to thinking
about the simplicity of that test.
Wouldn’t it be
nice, I thought, if a similar test existed to determine whether or not you were
an idiot?
And then I realized
there is such a test…it’s called an electric fence.
If you pee on it,
you are an idiot.
—Mitchell Hegman
In 1991 I very sneakily kissed a boy my dad did NOT want me associating with. He was on one side of an electric fence and I was on the other. It did not end well and to say it was electrifying was actually not as thrilling as one might think. Also, my dad was right about that guy, he was bad news and not just because he couldn't be bothered to find a way across an electric fence to properly woo. What an idiot. I am talking about myself here, too, for the record.
ReplyDeleteWow. That is definitely an original "electric fence" story. I an happy you recovered and righted yourself in all ways.
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