A few years back, I wrote about CLMs. CLM is the acronym for “career-limiting maneuver,” which occurs when you make a serious mistake at work. Say, for example, you are an accountant and you drop a bunch of zeros on a tax return. That's a CLM.
Late
yesterday afternoon, I made an MLM, a “marriage-limiting maneuver.” As you
might now imagine, an MLM occurs when you do something egregious to your
spouse. I didn't do direct harm to Desiree, thankfully, but I did harm some of
her plants. If you know anything about Filipinas, harming a favored plant is
hideous at best.
Iris
flowers have become a particular favorite for Desiree since her arrival here in
Montana. Desiree spent part of yesterday afternoon carefully prepping the
ground and then planting some iris bulbs she recently purchased. She planted
the bulbs alongside the driveway in a spot we both deemed safe from harm. Not
an hour after she planted the iris, while wrangling my truck around on the
driveway, I dropped a front tire off the concrete drive and mashed the iris
deep into the ground.
An
MLM for certain. Fortunately, Desiree has a soft disposition and recognizes my
tendency to be a moron. Rather than getting angry with me, she quickly
performed emergency procedures to dig up and replant the bulbs, which seemed
without serious injury.
I
suppose there is a lesson somewhere in this, but that will be of no help when
the next MLM comes along.
—Mitchell Hegman
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