I’ve always contended that a special place in hell should be reserved for anyone who loses a piece from a jigsaw puzzle. By “special place,” I mean a section of hell where all you have to eat is earthworms, and the sound of squealing tires is piped in for all eternity. This punishment especially applies to those who pass along a puzzle with a missing piece for someone else to assemble.
However, recent events have forced me
to reconsider. It turns out I am one of those cursed individuals responsible
for gifting someone a puzzle with a missing piece. The evidence? A nondescript
puzzle piece I found after rearranging my dining room furniture. I can’t even
identify which puzzle it belongs to, but I’m fairly certain I handed off that
puzzle to someone else—I do that with almost every puzzle I complete.
This revelation has me rethinking my
earlier judgment. Perhaps puzzle-piece misplacers aren’t as nefarious as I once
believed. In light of this, I’m considering softening the punishment. Maybe, at
the very least, the menu in that special section of hell could expand a bit.
—Mitchell Hegman
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