The Hot Tub Incident

I had an incident in my hot tub.

Before we get into that, though, I need to tell you about my back. Something weird happened as I got older—hair started growing out of it. Not a lot, but the individual hairs are robust and over an inch long.

Okay, back to the hot tub. My model features several sets of jets that spin as they blast water into the tub. I like those a lot, and I often sit with my back against them. The other day, when I drifted over to a set of spinning jets and settled in, I felt a sharp pain.

I literally winced. When I leaned away, the pain vanished. Naturally, I chalked it up to a muscle spasm. But later that day, the pain came pinching back—especially when I reached up. After enough of that nonsense, I found Desiree and pointed over my shoulder.

“You need to lift my shirt and look at my back. Something’s bothering me. It started in the hot tub this morning.”

Welp, one glance confirmed I’d need surgery. At the first opportunity, Desiree fetched a pair of scissors and went to work snipping hairs. Somehow, one of her free-ranging long black strands had basket-woven with mine and cinched tight when I leaned into the jet.

Better than a porta-potty incident... but not by much.

—Mitchell Hegman