Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Jesse Needs a Jet


I’ve been told the Lord works in mysterious ways.  Apparently, God also has peculiar conversations with some people.
Take televangelist Jesse Duplantis, for example.  Mr. Duplantis claims to have engaged in the following conversation:
The Lord: “Jesse, you wanna come up where I’m at?”
Duplantis: “What do you mean?”
The Lord: “I want you to believe in me for a Falcon 7-X.”
Duplantis: “OK.”
The first thing we need to define is “Falcon 7-X.”   A Falcon 7-X (specifically a Dassault Falcon 7-X) is a business jet with a 5,950 mile range.  This sleek baby will carry 12 to 16 passengers at 700 miles per hour without working up a sweat.  At present a 7-X will set you back a cool $54 million.
Mind you, Jesse Duplantis already has other private planes at his disposal.  He uses them to carry himself around the world from his base in Louisiana.  But he firmly believes—as he said—“If Jesus was physically on the Earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey.” 
Jesse Duplantis is convinced he must fly fast and he must fly far in order to save souls.
There exists some evidence that televangelists, as a whole, see buying a seat on a commercial flight as entirely unseemly.  In a video appearance with both Duplantis and fellow televangelist Kenneth Copeland (another jet-buying hero), Copeland opined that because they are famous, they would have people coming up to them and asking for prayers if they took a commercial flight.
What could be worse than that?
And Copland added: “You can’t manage that today.  This dope-filled world, and get in a long tube with a bunch of demons.  And it’s deadly.”
Duplantis concurred, saying: “And it works on your heart.  It really does.”
What kind of an evangelist would want to actually be surrounded by all those messy souls they are they are trying to save?
--Mitchell Hegman

1 comment:

  1. If Jesus were alive today he would drive those hypocrites out like he did the Pharisees in the temple.

    ReplyDelete