Making Love to a Beer Bottle

For most species, making love to any sort of bottle is, at best, a bad idea and a bit suspect.  For the males of one particular insect, however, making love to discarded beer bottles often leads to prolonged frustration followed by an untimely death.

While trying to identify a beetle that dive-bombed my head the other day, I chanced upon a thought-provoking article at newsdiscovery.com.  The article, Beetles Die During Sex With Beer Bottles, written by Jennifer Viegas, explores the odd and somewhat tragic tale of the Australian jewel beetle.

The male beetles readily fall in love with discarded beer bottles they find along the roads of Australia.  As bad luck would have it, certain beer bottles—those that are orange/brown in color, have a slightly dimpled surface at the bottom (for better grip while drinking), and are reflective of light—are strikingly similar to the sexy wing covers of the female Australian jewel beetle.

The beer bottles are, in short, babes: beautiful, gargantuan babes that show no signs of rejection.

Upon finding the sexy beer bottles, the male jewel beetles mount the bottles and then begin making love.  According to the article: “The male beetles are so captivated by the bottles that they will gird their loins and go through the expected motions, refusing to leave until they fry to death (under the searing Australian sun), are consumed by hungry ants, or are physically removed by researchers.” 

Honestly, this stuff strikes far too close to home as far as our own species is concerned.

PHOTO: University of Toronto Mississauga

 

--Mitchell Hegman