Some Assembly Required

My brother-in-law, Terry, and I have in common the same problem.  No, my sister is not the problem, but thanks for asking.

Our problem: following instructions to assemble something we purchased unassembled in a box.

The problem we experience is twofold:

    1. We are required to read and follow instructions.

    2. We are required to assemble something from a bunch pf parts.

At the end of the week, Terry purchased a free-standing electric fireplace.  Apparently, the thing is pretty realistic when properly assembled and plugged in.  Terry started the assembly process yesterday morning.  I stopped by his house yesterday afternoon to check on him.  The living room was strewn with cardboard, wooden panels, metal widgets, and small (easily misplaced) parts awaiting assembly.

The place looked like what you might expect an assembly line to look like following a totally devastating earthquake—things were generally going in the correct direction, but parts seemed a bit far-flung and overturned.

“So how’s it going?” I asked, kicking at a packet of odd-looking brackets and screws on the carpet.

Terry made a clicking sound with his tongue and said: “I kinda figured this might be a bit difficult when the first line of instructions said two adults would be needed for assembly.”

“Well, I think you’re easily adult enough for two people,” I mused.  “Wonder why you need two people, anyhow.  How’s that work?  Is one guy supposed to throw temper tantrums and watch while the other guy tries to put this stuff together?”

“Beats me.  Also says it can be assembled in forty-five minutes.”

“Yeah?   How long have you been working on it?”

“I’m on step four and I have about four hours into it.”

I found the instruction guide and quickly thumbed through.  “Hell, I think you’re doing great.  Says here there are only fifteen steps.”   I flopped the guide back down on the arm of an over-stuffed chair.  “You don’t need my help.”

Terry called me a few hours after I returned home.  “I made it to step five-and-a-half,” he informed me.  “I have about six hours into it.”

“You make me proud, buddy,” I told him.  “You’ve got this!”

-- Mitchell Hegman