More True Stuff

• If I pick up any kind of fork and eat salad with it, it’s a salad fork.
• “Two to Two,” is a grammatically correct manner in which to say “Two minutes until two o’clock.”
• There must be losers, except in marriage.  There can be none in that.
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
• Keith Richards often has the lowest string removed from his guitar, so that he plays a five-string instrument.  
• We are capable, collectively, of moving mountains, but still cannot successfully negotiate a four-way stop.
• If you consider everything, you are not going to get anywhere.
• The person who convinced others to apply mud on their faces in the name of improving complexion may be the most impressive individual who ever lived.

—Mitchell Hegman