The Stackers versus the Pilers

Sports never interested me as a kid, and I have never followed any professional sports. About all I understand is that when the Packers are playing the Whomevers, it’s a bitter rivalry and somebody is going to drink too much beer while watching and get a little snotty.

Oddly enough, I am entertaining something similar to what I just described right here in my garage. Not the drinking beer and getting snotty part. The rivalry. In my competition, the Stackers are pitted against the Pilers.

I’m talking, of course, about lengths of firewood I have been chopping for the upcoming winter, which can begin on any day of any month here in Montana.

Some lengths I manage to axe into sleek, uniform pieces, making them easy to fit into a cordwood stack. Hence, the Stackers.

Other chunks split into gnarly and misshapen things, with bulbous knots on one end, weird twists of grain, and so forth. These, the Pilers, I heap into a jumbled and entirely disordered pile, something that looks like a Gaudí (drunken) version of a trash mound.

Obviously, I am rooting for the Stackers here. I appreciate a tidy stack. But the knotted chunks readily fit in my woodstove and accept flame just as well as the Stackers.

I’m sharing photographs of the rivals.

The Stackers in Orderly Rows

The Pilers Heaped Together

—Mitchell Hegman