Out With the Trash

I try to operate under three simple rules: don’t attempt making a soufflé, don’t run with scissors, and don’t throw yourself out with the trash. Obviously, not everyone abides by my simple rules. A couple of weeks ago, for example, a woman in Manchester, New Hampshire, accidentally threw herself into the dumpster while emptying her trash. To make matters worse, shortly after the woman fell into the dumpster, a garbage truck picked up its contents (woman included) and sputtered off to continue its appointed rounds. Fortunately, at some point, neighbors heard the woman screaming from amid the trash inside the truck. The driver then spotted the woman with a camera trained on the contents of the truck and immediately called 911.

Though the trash within the truck had been compacted several times, the woman was conscious when rescued and taken to the hospital. I am left here wondering if she has ever tried her luck with a soufflé.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: AP