Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Wing Beats and Heart Beats


In the calm and quiet of yesterday morning I could hear every wingbeat of chickadees as they twirled overtop me while I soaked in my hot tub.  The lake below lay still and smooth as water inside a closed bottle.  The sky so vividly blue a trout might mistake it for another kind of river.
I woke very early in the morning, rising from a dream of lying beside my wife.  For some reason I have been dreaming about her for the last week.  Dreams of her coal black hair caught in the sun.  Dreams of her smile as she walked toward me.  Dreams of us simply stretched alongside each other, talking.  Dreams of being young again. 
I have not really had such dreams since she passed over two years ago.   More importantly, the dreams have been decidedly pleasant.   I woke yesterday with a grin.  As Lord Byron said: “The heart will break, but broken live on.”
The heavy and solid sorrow has mostly gone from me now—replaced by quick knifes that stab deep and then fall away as the scent of lavender.
Healing?  I suppose that is so.
I have the birds to keep me now.  I have the Russian sage to press in my fingers and perfume the air.  I have my big girl in New York City.  I have my unbroken string heart beats.
--Mitchell Hegman  

No comments:

Post a Comment