A Few Pluses

Here are a few pluses in my life at present:

• I’ve had a woodstove in the house for over a year now and have not burned myself.
• Last time I checked, both of my feet still reach the ground.
• We have enough caramel popcorn to last at least another week.
• The coffee maker has not staged an uprising in well over a month.
• I opened the fridge, forgot what I wanted, and still found something snack-worthy.
• I’ve learned to accept phrases like “limited lifetime warranty” and “free with purchase.”
• I’ve finally lost enough hair that I no longer need to worry about where to part it.

—Mitchell Hegman