Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Friday, December 26, 2025

Confucius Meets Winston Churchill

Confucius and Winston Churchill chanced to meet while shopping for fruit at a corner grocery. Glancing up from a pyramidal display of yellow apples, Confucius instantly recognized Churchill by his distinctive clothing and physical features.

Confucius extended his hand. “Sir Winston Churchill, I am Confucius. A pleasure.”

“My good man,” Churchill responded, “I have always admired your work. You are a straight thinker.”

“And you were a stalwart during the big war,” Confucius said. “I admire your pithy turn of a phrase.”

Warmed by the compliments, the two chatted for a while, drifting toward a colorful display of dragon fruit. Confucius examined one and said, “I have a favorite quote of yours: ‘The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.’ It has a truthful sting.”

“Well, I do enjoy a sting,” Churchill said. “My favorite of your maxims is ‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.’ Solid wisdom.” He paused. “But there is something I have always wondered.”

“Oh?”

“How did it come to pass that your pronouncements are rendered as ‘Confucius say’ rather than ‘Confucius says’? It rather clanks in English.”

“Oh, that. A linguistic fossil, really. ‘Confucius say’ arrived by way of Chinese grammar, not English grammar. Something was lost in early, literal translation.”

Churchill nodded. “I have long suspected translation is best measured by what does not survive the crossing.”

The two men soon parted, each walking away into the rain. Churchill paused beneath the awning, glanced back at Confucius, and said, “Still, it’s remarkable what manages to endure.”

—Mitchell Hegman

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