Penis Bones and Confetti

I learned two things on New Year’s Eve.

First, I learned about raccoon penises.  They are much more popular than I expected.  Well, the penis isn’t such a big deal—it’s the bone from the penis that makes a stir.

And, yes, raccoons are equipped with a penile bone.

This type of bone—also called the baculum—is found in most male mammals, including primates.  We Humans are an exception.

Raccoon penis bones are readily available should you want to purchase one.  Weirdly enough, people make stuff out of the raccoon penis bones.   Earrings and necklaces, for example.  They are considered lucky charms by some Southerners.  Occasionally, a raccoon penis bone will even find its way into a bridal bouquet. 

The baculum of a raccoon is a bit special.  It’s rather pretty for a penis bone.

Technically, a raccoon’s baculum is not a bone.  Some internet sources identify a raccoon’s baculum as a form of ivory.  Neither of these are correct.  The baculum is, instead, a form of cartilage.

The second thing I learned on New Year’s Eve is somewhat more practical.  I leaned that shooting confetti guns throughout your house at the approach of midnight on New Year’s Eve is much more fun than cleaning up the confetti early the following morning.  It’s sort of like having a paper and glitter hangover.

Raccoon Baculum

—Mitchell Hegman