Signs of Spring in Montana

You can tell spring has arrived in my corner of Montana.  This morning, for example, I woke to only an inch or so of snow.  And below freezing temperatures lasted no more than halfway into the daylight hours.

— Mitchell Hegman

Two Strikes

A couple bothersome developments here.

First, I am now starting to have dreams in which I lose my keys.

Second, I recently read about a study from the University of Leeds that draws a link between eating processed meat, such as bacon, and the onset of dementia.

Bacon?

— Mitchell Hegman

Step Away from the Sharp Knives

Apparently, I had a modified death wish yesterday.  Mine was more a “death-by-a-thousand-cuts wish.”  Somehow, I managed to cut myself at nearly every turn.

Here is a list of my minor injuries from yesterday:

• While helping a friend with an electrical problem, I cut my finger.
• A bit later, while trimming a tree, I barked a knuckle.
• Following that, I barked another knuckle reaching into a kitchen cabinet.
• I finished with a cut to my thumb while chopping some broccoli.

I had considered trimming some caulking from around the corners of my windows, but one long look at the blade of my razor knife dissuaded me from that.

— Mitchell Hegman

Sleeping with a Mountain Lion

In my latest dream, a mountain lion jumped up onto my bed and settled in beside me.  I was not particularly surprised by the lion in my bed, and I quickly fell asleep with the big cat alongside me.

When I woke to reality, I found myself sprawled across my two pillows and twisted into my bedding.   

Not exactly a mountain lion.

— Mitchell Hegman

Our Cats Are Ignoring Us

Apparently, the University of Tokyo ran out of ideas for building humanoid robots.  Instead of working robots, they dispatched some “scientific” researchers to conduct tests on domestic cats to determine if cats are ignoring us.  The results of this study were recently published in the Animal Cognition journal.

Guess what?

Cats are ignoring us.

Cats hear us just fine when we call out to them or (foolishly) attempt to throw a command in their direction.  As “researchers” noted in their study: “Cats do not actively respond with communicative behavior to owners who are calling them from out of sight, even though they can distinguish their owners’ voices.”

They choose to ignore us.

I am a bit perplexed by the need for any study.  One of the researchers could have simply called me and asked me if cats ignore us.  “Yes,” I would have said.  And then I would have sent them an invoice for my handsome consulting fee.

I have lived with eight cats.  They all ignored me.   

This is easy stuff.

— Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk

Magpies by the Numbers

Yesterday, as I stood at my bay windows watching clouds smudge by, a magpie dropped in to pick up seeds from below my birdfeeder.  A short time later a second magpie appeared.  Soon, a third swooped in.

When it comes to magpies, the number three is important.

One magpie is fun.  A solitary magpie will put on an acrobatic show—jumping and tumbling about.

Two magpies will dance around each other.  Not exactly a waltz, but a dance.

Three magpies?  They all become assholes and pick on each other incessantly.    

— Mitchell Hegman

A Dinner Lesson

I learned a lesson while eating my dinner.  You can eat lettuce, but you cannot breathe it.  If you accidentally breathe in lettuce, things get a little ugly rather instantly.

In technical terms, the stunt of trying to breathe in food is called aspiration.  But we don’t need to be technical.  All you need to know is that when I tried to breathe in lettuce I immediately launched into a coughing and thrashing fit.

The lettuce possessed me.

Upon seeing me battering about, my 20 pounds of housecat scampered off to hide.

Part two of the lesson?  A sip of Scotch following my fit helped deliver me back to a more normal state.  I suppose a sip of water might do the same, but where is the adventure in that?

— Mitchell Hegman

A Bag of Fish

Yesterday evening, on my drive home, I spotted a plastic bag alongside the road not far from my house.  My habit is to immediately stop and pick up any litter I find on our stretch of road.  When I stopped to grab the bag, I found—of all things—about a dozen smelt fish in the bag.

I dumped the fish out on the ground for the local scavengers and hauled the bag home to pitch in my trash.

Weirdly enough, this is not the first time I have found fish in on my road.  It’s the fourth time.   Many years ago (at midsummer) I found a frozen five-pound rainbow trout wrapped in a beach towel.  A few years after that, I found a bag of perch.  Sometime after that, I found a fairly large carp lying in the road.

I have never watched any movies in the Sharknado series.  Is there something I should know?

— Mitchell Hegman

Four More Questions

1. When I was a kid, how did my mother always know when there was dirt behind my ears?

2. Why do I continue to watch the ads on DVR recorded programs when I can skip them?  

3. Do all shopping carts have one bad wheel or am I somehow managing to always grab the bad carts?

4. How did I get dirt behind my ears?

— Mitchell Hegman

Backwards in Size

Let’s talk about the sizing of wire.

When I first started working as an electrician, wire sizes confused me.  In accordance with American Wire Gauge (AWG) standards, they seem to run backwards in size.  A #10 wire is bigger than a #12 wire.  A #1 wire is substantially bigger than a #10.  I was of a mind that bigger numbers should be assigned as wire size increased.

After 45 years in the trade, I have mostly gotten over being confused.

Mostly.

Today, for those of you similarly distressed by the backwards scheme for sizing wire, I can explain why this is so.  The sizing logic reflects the original process for manufacturing wire.

In early wire manufacturing processes, wires were made smaller in cross-sectional size by a process called drawing.  Drawing a wire is simply pulling the wire through a single, or series of, ever smaller die(s).  Each time the wire is drawn it gets smaller and longer.  The size simply reflected the number of times the wire was drawn.

— Mitchell Hegman

3:33

Several months ago, a weird thing began happing.  I started waking from my sleep at exactly 3:33 AM.  At first, this might happen every few days.  In more recent weeks, my waking at this time has become far more frequent.  Our shift to Daylight Saving Time did not change this.  I have, in fact, come awake at 3:33 for the last four nights in a row.

Three little pigs.  Three blind mice.  Three dimensions.

— Mitchell Hegman

Return to Naked and Afraid

I have been binge-watching Naked and Afraid again.  If you are unfamiliar, each episode features a man and a woman—normally total strangers—who enter a challenge to survive together in the wild for 21 days.  The catch?  They are totally naked and supplied with (at most) a pot, a fire starter, a machete (or some equivalent), and maybe one more exotic item such as fishhooks or rope.

Each season, the same dynamic develops.  A tough-talking, muscular guy struts into the challenge claiming he will make nature bow to his will.  Within a few days the dude is curled into a ball and whimpering.  And then he taps out.

The woman finishes than challenge on her own.

In an episode I watched last night, the man started whimpering on the first night.  I suppose this would bother me greatly if I imagined myself a tough guy.  I might feel offended in some way.   I know better.  No way I would attempt 21 days naked.

I am thinking my maximum is 3 days.  One day, if I see a big spider.

— Mitchell Hegman

Something

We are not gods, but we do have hundreds of television channels and several streaming services available to us.  That must account for something.

— Mitchell Hegman

Sound Learning Experiences

I learned something. 

Before I talk about that, I want to talk about rattlesnakes.

I live in rattlesnake country.   I don’t see them often, but they are around.  During the summer months, I warn anyone new to the country to watch for them.  And I add this: “They don’t like confrontation and will you usually warn you if you are getting too close.  Trust me, you will instantly recognize the sound of a rattlesnake even if you have never heard one.  There is no mistaking the sound for anything else.”

Yesterday afternoon, I learned a new unmistakable and somewhat startling sound.

You can take this from me: If a woodpecker ever attacks the plywood sheathing on your house where you recently removed stucco, you will know exactly what the noise is.

— Mitchell Hegman

Going Ghetto

The process of removing the brick veneer and stucco from my house to make way for attaching a sunroom is progressing slowly.  I am astonished at how dramatically this has changed the look of my house.  It appears as though I am going for the “full-on-ghetto.” style of building.

— Mitchell Hegman

First Bluebird

On Sunday (the thirteenth), I spotted my first bluebird of the year.  I saw a pair of them—a male and a female.  They came graphing through the sky to reach the post and pole fence around my xeriscape yard.  Their signature, bouncing flights are hard to miss.  The male, bright as a newly minted coin in his blue cape, soon flitted over to inspect the bluebird house I fixed to a fence post.

In this way, our Montana spring season begins.

   

— Mitchell Hegman

PHOTO: Cornell Lab of Ornithology

Another Meeting of the Aluminum Beer Can Melting Guild

Saturday proved a day filled with warm sunshine and only the slightest breeze.  By late afternoon, those of us in the Aluminum Beer Can Melting Guild had gathered around a campfire by the lake.  We not only managed to drink a few beers and melt down the cans; we also got a chance to make three highly successful rocket launches off the lake ice.

Make sure you watch the launch video at the end of this blog! 

   

Tad Pulling the Beer Can Crucible from the Fire

Tad Making a Pour

Me Preparing to Launch

Sawyer Recovering the Rocket

Rocket Launch Video

— Mitchell Hegman

Darkness Plus

Last night, long after darkness, my cat decided he wanted out the front door.  As always, he pressed up against the door in anticipation as I approached to open it for him.

As soon as I opened the door wide enough, my cat slipped out.  An instant later, he backed himself inside again.

Something was out there.

Somewhat reluctantly, I opened the door a bit wider and leaned out into the darkness.

I saw ears.  Big ears.  I found myself in staring contest with a doe mule deer.  She had been raiding the birdfeeder.

I shrunk back inside.  “Dude,” I said to my cat., “it’s just a deer.”  I nudged him a little.  He slowly walked outside again.  I closed the door.

Doe mule deer are not scary.

— Mitchell Hegman

A Dead Win

On June 4, 1923, a jockey named Frank Hayes won his first race at Belmont Park on Long Island.  Though Frank was alive as he and his horse, Sweet Kiss, bolted away from the starting gate, he was dead by the time he and the horse crossed the finish line.

The conditions of the win were unprecedented, but race officials allowed the win to stand, making this the only time in sports history when a competition was won by a dead man.

Observers speculated Frank Hayes suffered heart failure about the time his horse took the lead.  Frank was only 22 years old at the time of his death.  His efforts at weight loss and the excitement of his taking the lead were cited as contributing reasons for the heart attack. 

— Mitchell Hegman

Source: John Farrier,  https://www.neatorama.com, Wikipedia

A Body at Rest

Newton's First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.  Posted today is a photograph of my 20 pounds of housecat doing his impression of Newton’s First Law. 

— Mitchell Hegman

Toothpicks Are Where You Don’t Find Them

I had one item on my list when I entered a local grocery store: toothpicks.  When I exited the store, I had in my bags: wine, bananas, provolone cheese, California rolls, and a bag of potato chips.

No toothpicks.

On my first trip through the store, I purposely avoided the potato chip aisle.  “Not going to give in to the chips,” I told myself as I whisked past them.  “I am on a mission for toothpicks.”

Making my way though the store, I asked two employees where I might find toothpicks.  Each told me a different aisle.  By the time I reached the far end of the grocery, I had been down nearly every aisle and still failed to locate toothpicks.

“I have tried hard here,” I thought, “I deserve my potato chips.”

By the time I worked my way back to the checkout lanes, I was almost to the point where I was ineligible for the express checkout.  Toothpicks, had I found them, might have pushed me to a different line.

— Mitchell Hegman

List of Random Observations

• An organized junk drawer is not, technically, a junk drawer.
• A sleeping cat has five legs.
• Rock doves are pigeons.
• Pulling noxious weeds is therapeutic.
• The messiest meals are the best meals.
• Monarch butterfly lives matter.
• Insanity puts its pants on one leg at a time.
• Silence can tell a story.
• There is nothing normal about my normal life.

— Mitchell Hegman

Working with Tools

I enjoy home construction projects.  I especially like working with hand tools and power tools.  The singular focus required for working with tools settles any discordant thoughts within my mind.

For me, it’s actually relaxing.

Cool spring and fall weather particularly suits me for outdoor projects.  I have never been a fan of the heat of summer.  Over the weekend, with temperatures in the forties and fifties, I lugged a host of tools outside and worked on dismantling (and saving for reuse) the brick veneer on the exterior of my house.

This is the initial step for the addition of a sunroom to my home.

As much as I enjoy the cool weather, my body objects.  The combination of cool temperatures and gripping something—especially the handles of any kind of tool—triggers my Renaud’s syndrome.  Renaud’s restricts blood flow to extremities such as fingers and toes.  Sunday morning, while operating a hammer-drill, Renaud’s struck my right hand in a pretty big way.  I can expect a small display of the syndrome in cool weather, but this was profound.  Part of my hand felt dead.

I stopped working and trotted inside the house so I could soak my hand in warm water.  I managed a couple photographs before blood returned to the last finger.

 

— Mitchell Hegman

A Superior Mirage

On a normal day, people don’t see ocean-going vessels floating in the air above the water.  One day last month, David Morris, experienced something of an abnormal day.   While walking near the edge of some cliffs along England’s southwestern coast, he looked out into the ocean and saw a ship floating in the air above the horizon.

Mr. Morris stopped walking and stared at the ship.  A curious sight.  He knew the ship must be on the water, but it didn’t appear so.  He captured a photograph of the ship and later posted the photograph on Facebook.

The photograph soon went viral.

David Morris witnessed something called a superior mirage.  This is a type of optical illusion created during temperature inversions.  A temperature inversion occurs when a layer of cold air is trapped under a layer of warm air.  In such conditions, light travels at different speeds through the temperature layers.  Both human brains and cameras process the light (which is essentially refracted) to interpret ships as floating above the water.

 

Photo: David Morris

— Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.nytimes.com, https://www.wionews.com

Something Carl Sagan Said

—Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

—The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.

—If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

The Wrong Burden

I try to walk at least two miles each day.  When I feel frisky, I might walk all the way to my mailbox and back.

That’s four miles.

When Cory Phillpott, a 23-year-old athlete from Australia feels frisky, he runs a marathon.  Cory recently ran a 26.2-mile marathon through Jamison Park in Penrith, New South Wales.  He crossed the finish line at a time of 16 hours and 12 minutes.

Pretty slow, actually.

But his time is a bit more impressive when you factor in that Cory Phillpott completed the marathon while pulling a 1.6-ton Ford Ranger pickup.

His feat is not eligible for the Guinness World Record because he pulled the wrong vehicle.  To qualify for that, he needed to pull a city car, half the size of the pickup.

— Mitchell Hegman

Source: UPI

Wheelbarrow

The weather is warming to a point where I can spend time outside removing the brick veneer and stucco from the exterior walls where I will soon attach a sunroom.

I am already dodging yellowjackets out there.

Before starting the demolition project, I made a list of tools and supplies needed.  While wandering though a local hardware picking up a few items from my list, I plodded down an aisle featuring a line of wheelbarrows on display.  One of the wheelbarrows caught my eye.  Not the wheelbarrow so much as a large sticker attached to it—a sticker featuring a huge U.S. flag.

A big “Made in the USA.”

I stopped and examined the wheelbarrow.  I really like stuff made in the USA.  I try to shop locally on the micro scale (Helena) and macro scale (USA).

I didn’t have purchasing a new wheelbarrow on my list.

But…. USA.

Posted is a photograph of my sexy new wheelbarrow.

— Mitchell Hegman

Adult Content

While reading through a bunch of “weird” facts at a website filled with such, I found one that really surprised me.   According to research conducted by cyber security firm Symantec in 2012, you are more likely to pick up malware visiting religious websites than visiting porn sites.

According to the Symantec: “Websites with religious or ideological themes were found to have triple the average number of "threats" that those featuring adult content.  We hypothesize that this is because pornographic website owners already make money from the Internet and, as a result, have a vested interest in keeping their sites malware-free; it's not good for repeat business."

According to Cisco's 2015 Annual Security Report: “The top industries that pose a risk to you through their websites, depending on where you live, include aviation, media and publishing, agriculture and mining, food and beverage, insurance, automotive, and real estate and land management."

I have malware protection on my computer.   Several weeks ago, my malware protection software freaked out on me for the first time in a very long time.  Apparently, I bumped into some bad stuff.

What was I searching for?

Reviews on windows.

— Mitchell Hegman

Sources: https://phys.org/news , https://bestlifeonline.com/weird-amazing-facts, https://www.akamai.com

Union Strong

I spent part of yesterday morning in the gallery of the Montana State House Chambers.  Sitting alongside a collection of friends—all union members or former union members—I watched as the Montana House of Representatives debated and then voted on HB 251, the so-called “Right to Work” Bill.

The legislation died with a vote of 62 opposed and 38 in favor.

I felt privileged to watch the proceedings.  And I was especially proud of the hundreds of union members calmly filling the Capitol building to personally express opposition to the bill.

I am not political.  This is not about politics to me.  This is about being provided a living wage and benefits to last a lifetime.  My union did this for me.

I am retired.  Every month now, my union retirement programs (three of them) help replenish my bank account.

It’s good.

A financial adviser recently analyzed my retirement income sources and told me (thanks largely to my IBEW retirements) I have remarkable stability in my income.  In almost any scenario, I will thrive.

Leaving the Capitol, I was pleased to see a gathering of union members on the front steps.  I captured a photograph of them and then thrust my fist up in solidarity.

— Mitchell Hegman

The Best Men Live Under the Bridge

Though I have not personally met the man, one of my favorite people in Desiree’s Manila neighborhood is her garbage man.  He lives under a bridge not far from Desiree’s house.  He is, as they say in the Philippines, “stretching his bones.”  Meaning, he is always trying.  Always working as hard as he can.  Daily, he hauls Desiree’s garbage to a collection point.  He often helps Desiree move heavy things about.  She pays him little regularly and pays extra when he helps with other chores outside hauling her trash.

For several weeks, Desiree has been struggling to get a handyman to help her install a new AC unit.  A bit of remodeling is required.  Several contractors failed to show up.  One did show up to look at the job, but his behavior was off-putting and she did not hire him.

A lot of other people live under the bridge alongside the garbage man.  Desiree finally hired a man from under the bridge to begin demolition of the wall required for the installation of her new AC unit.  On the second day, the man brought along a “carpenter” friend of his.  The carpenter also lives under the bridge.

“He’s fast,” Desiree said of the carpenter.  “He knows the best way to do everything.  And he has tools!”

Desiree quickly lined him up with a host of small projects she wants done.

I asked her to send photographs of his projects.   I am impressed.  I can tell he is a craftsman.  He knows plenty about construction and he works for a reasonable daily wage.

In Manila, if you want the best men for getting work done, I know just the place to find them.

— Mitchell Hegman

Fixed That

These days, doorbells communicate with computers.  Room thermostats connect to smartphones.  An automobile might pair with your smartphone, communicate with a satellite, or connect to any number of other small electronic devices.

This can become overwhelming in a hurry.

While visiting me, my brother-in-law, Terry, mentioned he was having trouble getting an iPod to play in his truck.  “I did everything I was supposed to connect, but I can’t get it to play.”

I asked: “Your truck allows you to select sources, right?”

“Yes.  I did all that.  It won’t play.”

“Huh.  Kinda weird.  Let’s go out to the truck right now and see if we can figure it out.”

Terry and I stomped out to his truck.  Once we climbed inside the truck, he started the engine and allowed the instrument panel to wake up.  The iPod was plugged into a USB port in the cubby between the front seats.  I picked up the device and flicked at the screen a couple times.  Everything seemed normal.

I glanced at the touch screen on his dash and saw the iPod featured there.  “Let’s try this,” I said.  I reached out and poked the PLAY/PAUSE button on the screen.

Music from the iPod throbbed throughout the cab.

“Fixed that,” I said.

— Mitchell Hegman