I learned a lesson while eating my dinner. You can eat lettuce, but you cannot breathe it. If you accidentally breathe in lettuce, things get a little ugly rather instantly.
In
technical terms, the stunt of trying to breathe in food is called aspiration. But we don’t need to be technical. All you need to know is that when I tried to
breathe in lettuce I immediately launched into a coughing and thrashing fit.
The
lettuce possessed me.
Upon
seeing me battering about, my 20 pounds of housecat scampered off to hide.
Part
two of the lesson? A sip of Scotch following
my fit helped deliver me back to a more normal state. I suppose a sip of water might do the same,
but where is the adventure in that?
— Mitchell Hegman
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