At each station in the rubric below, choose only one of the three listed actions and then progress to the next station. Proceed to the end of the rubric to determine your actions for the day. Good luck with your day!
A. Grab someone:
1. You love
2. You like
3. Who reminds you of your grandmother
B. By the:
1. Hand
2. Arm
3. Something unmentionable
C. Tell them:
1. You feel great
2. You just purchased Vincent van Gogh’s (OPTION) ear or self-portrait
3. You need to be sexed-up
D. Then:
1. Kiss them
2. Kick them
3. If you made a choice of “3” at the first station, you may exit here
E. And tell them:
1. They are the best
2. You are convinced that in a previous life you were a ripe watermelon
3. You think you kicked your grandmother a moment ago
F. Once you have done this, you must:
1. Run like hell
2. Wag your tongue
3. Hang your Vincent van Gogh portrait in the kitchen above the sink
--Mitchell Hegman
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