Midnight Run

Somewhere along my journey to middle-age, I adopted a tenet that all critters are simply here to make a living—just the same as us.  As an outcrop of this, I grew soft on killing things.  If a grizzly or a mountain lion threatened attack, I wouldn’t hesitate to dispatch them.  But I allow for smaller transgressions.

In practical terms, this means I live-trap mice when they find entry into my house.  I understand how mice may vector disease and I know they are messy, but the same can be said for some of my human friends.

Only a minute or so before going to bed last night, Desiree saw a mouse scuttling along the kitchen baseboard.  I immediately set five small live traps close to the range where Desiree saw the mouse.

At midnight, on a trip to the kitchen for a drink of water, I discovered two traps had successfully captured a mouse.

My habit is to walk or drive captured mice down the road a half-mile or so before releasing them in the wild.  Last night, I considered leaving them trapped until this morning, but I knew the thought of them would keep me awake. 

I quietly dressed in my robe and slippers, and then took the mice on a midnight run out into the country while listening to Bob Dylan and Cage the Elephant.

 Letting things live is the more difficult option.

—Mitchell Hegman

An Empty Room and Habits

Desiree and I started on a remodel of our utility room.

For the last thirty-one years, my shoes, trash bags and cleaning supplies have been in the utility room.  Our first step in the remodel process was removing most everything from the room.  Yesterday, after entering the empty room, I walked back out to where Desiree stood in the nearby kitchen.

“How many times are we going to do that?” I asked her.

“Do what?”

“Go into the utility room for something that isn’t there anymore.  I just went in there to grab a trash bag for the kitchen, even though I moved them out only a few minutes ago.”   

Three times, during the course of yesterday, my ingrained habits directed me into the empty room.

—Mitchell Hegman

Craftsmanship Noted

Way back in the early 2000s, unbeknownst those of us working on a job, the electrical engineer of design toured a newly framed building in which we had recently completed running a massive splay of conduit runs.  Following his visit, the engineer called my employer to expressed his pleasure with the craftsmanship of our work.

After my employer shared this information with me, I mentioned the compliment to the entire crew as we sat eating lunch.  One of the apprentices on the job immediately said: “Yeah, it’s nice work.  But nobody will see it when the building is done.”

I have always considered craftsmanship important.  Knowing you are doing your best when nobody is looking matters.  Most importantly, something constructed well on the inside is also good on the outside.  “Well,” I told the apprentice, “The engineer noticed.  That’s good enough for me.”   

Three or so years ago, while talking with the owner of an electrical shop, he mentioned performing maintenance on the same building.  “That was one of your jobs, wasn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“There is some nice work in there.”    

—Mitchell Hegman

Puddles Sings Black Sabbath

I shall begin with an apology.  Some people may find the video I have posted on the verge of sacrilege.  In the video Puddles (the clown) sings a stripped-down piano version of Black Sabbath’s rock classic song War Pigs.

I often reject remakes of classic songs when they stray too far from the version written and recorded by the original artists.  Not so here.  I find this mellowed version of the song oddly compelling.

—Mitchell Hegman

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT8t3i8CkMQ

My Strange Conversation

Yesterday, while I was shopping in a grocery store, a frazzled-looking woman of about my age appeared next to me.  After appraising, me she asked: “Do you think Putin is going to nuke us?”

I rubbed at my eyes.  “Excuse me?”

“Do you think Putin will nuke us?” 

“I have no idea, actually.”

“He said he would strike Montana first,” she assured me.

“I had not heard that,” I told her.  “But we do have a lot of missiles here.”

With that, the woman abruptly changed subjects.  “It’s so quiet today,” she said.  “Nobody is talking here.”

“Well…we are talking,” I suggested.

The woman brightened in expression a little. “Yes, we are.”

Just then, Desiree rejoined me.  Upon seeing Desiree, I half-smiled at the woman.  “I am on my way again.” I told her.  “Have a good rest of your day.”  I latched onto our shopping cart and quickly whisked away.

—Mitchell Hegman

The West

While on a plane bound from Vegas to Salt Lake City, I engaged in a conversation with a young man from Wyoming.  As we overflew a swath of rugged mountains just beginning to melt into darkness, our conversation touched on what we find vital about the landscapes out West.

We both need long, empty roads forced to curve around an upturned shoulder of stone.  We want a chain of impassable mountains at our side and nothing but a small town in our rearview mirror.

For me, the West offers a drama in landscape I require.  Give me a terrain stacked and layered with ancient rock or a landscape that time and the elements have axed apart.  Give me mountains, ravines, and canyons that make me quiver if I stand near their edge.

—Mitchell Hegman

Gambling

Desiree gambled her requisite $5.00 in a slot machine while we were at Palace Station in Las Vegas.  The same thing happened to her as happened to me many decades ago.  The machine issued a bit of noise and blinked a few lights and then cash was gone forever.

Good enough.

No need for either of us to gamble again for the next thirty or so years.

—Mitchell Hegman

Vegas (Just the Facts)

• The fountains at Bellagio use “grey water” recycled from showers, tub, and sinks throughout the city.
• Over 300 weddings a day take place in Las Vegas.
• The Sky Beam light emanating up from the Luxor Casino costs over $50 an hour in electricity consumption.
• The highest number of international visitors to Las Vegas originate from Canada.
• There is one slot machine for every four Las Vegas residents.
• Over 22,000 conventions are held in Las Vegas every year.
• With its millions of lights, Las Vegas is considered the brightest spot on Earth.
• Las Vegas is home to more than half of the 20 largest hotels in the world.

—Mitchell Hegman

Sources: www.kingvegashomes.com, www.destguides.com, downtown.vegas/visitors-guide/fun-facts

The Las Vegas Strip

You can’t visit Las Vegas and ignore the “Las Vegas Strip” at night.  Our version of visiting the strip involved a 3½-hour limousine tour.  The tour included a stop for the Bellagio water fountain show, a volcano eruption at the Mirage, a stop at the original Las Vegas sign (circa 1959), and an extended walk at Freemont Street. 

My niece, Amber, and I tried to sign-up for a zip-line fly above Freemont, but the waiting time would have made us late for the limo ride back to our starting point.  Instead of doing that, we spent our time gawking at the wonders of weird and often unabashed humanity on display.

Conclusion:  I am weird, but people in Vegas are weirder.

Our Limo Arrives

Inside the Limo

Along the Strip

Welcome to Vegas (Adrian, Amber, Desiree, Russ, Me, Paula)

Freemont Street

—Mitchell Hegman

Pink Jeep Tour

Yesterday, we took a nearly four-hour Jeep tour of Red Rock Canyon just outside Las Vegas.  The tour proved both fun and beautiful.  While most of the adventure involved winding along the paved access loop through the Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area, the jeep also took us on one buckle-yourself-in ride into the Rainbow Mountain Wilderness.

The jeep bucked pretty hard as our driver wound his way up and down the primitive and rock-strewn road in the wilderness.  A brace of girls from Maryland in the far back experienced a much wilder ride thanks the mechanics of the rig’s suspension.

I have always found desert landscapes lovely and bold.  Everyone on the jeep agreed the adventure begged for a repeat trip some other day.  I have posted a few photographs, including a ‘trick’ iPhone landscape image showing us both pushing and pulling our Jeep.

Yucca at Red Rock

High in Rainbow Mountain Wilderness

Me Hanging From a Rock

Pushing and Pulling our Pink Jeep

—Mitchell Hegman

In a Strange Bed

I woke to being naked and in a strange bed.  The bed felt spongier than it should.  Also, one of my pillows was far too small.

Okay, I always sleep naked.  No biggie there.  But the bed and the pillow need explaining.  And here it is: I and Desiree flew down to Las Vegas to stay with my sister, Paula.

Later this morning we will hop into a jeep and explore the desert near Red Rock Canyon.  This evening we will be taking in Mystère by Cirque du Soleil.

Can you guess why they call it Red Rock Canyon?

 

—Mitchell Hegman

New York-New York Hotel & Casino (On Our Drive from the Airport)

Driving

Desiree has limited experience in driving automobiles.  Given that, I have encouraged her to drive my car along our country road and on mostly empty highways for practice.   Yesterday, to further the process of working toward a driver’s license, I downloaded the 98-page Montana Driver Manual.  Though I have been behind the steering wheel of automobiles since 1972, I had no idea driving was so complicated.

—Mitchell Hegman

Proposed Changes to Autumn

I would like to propose a few modest changes to autumn.

First and foremost, I would like at least twenty percent of available leaves to turn royal blue in color.  And when the blue leaves fall, I want the wind to sweep them straight-up, twirling, until they vanish in the sky.

Migratory songbirds birds shall sing their last best song from a perch position on the top rail of my fence before they depart for winter.

Elk must bugle between 2:00 and 3:00 each afternoon so we can firmly schedule time to hear them.

Yes, to early morning frost.

No, to untimely blizzards.

Finally, each sunset shall challenge rainbows in the matter of color presentation.

—Mitchell Hegman

What I’m Looking For

If you look at my days from beginning to now, it’s pretty easy to determine what I have been looking for most in my life.

It’s not love and affection.

It’s not wealth.

It’s rocks.

I’m looking for collectable rocks in this life.

—Mitchell Hegman

Q-tip

Not so long ago, I visited an ear, nose, and throat doctor following an “incident” with a Q-tip.  After confirming I had not permanently compromised my hearing, the doctor admonished me.   “I’m sure you’ve heard you should never stick anything smaller than your elbow in your ear,” he said.

“Yep.”

“Your ears are self-cleaning.  You don’t need to stick anything in them.”

Only after I walked out of the doctor’s office did I wonder: Where was my good doctor when I was a kid and my mother constantly chased after me with a Q-tip?   

—Mitchell Hegman

Patient Plays Saxophone While Undergoing Brain Surgery in Italy

The title of this blog is also a headline I found while piddling about on the internet.  Before reading the article, I tried to imagine my own reasons why a patient would play the sax while doctors operated on them.

Was the patient’s sax playing in-kind payment (in real time) for the surgeon’s work?  Had the patient lost some kind of bet?  Did a scheduling conflict land the patient’s surgery and a concert at the same time?

The truth is perhaps stranger.

According to a news release from Paideia International Hospital in Rome, a patient, identified as G.Z., was kept awake and played his saxophone during a “delicate” nine-hour surgery to remove a brain tumor.

"Awake surgery makes it possible to map with extreme precision during surgery the neuronal networks that underlie the various brain functions such as playing, speaking, moving, remembering, counting," Dr. Christian Brogna, who led the surgery team, stated.

The doctors involved with the procedure reported being pleased with the results of the surgery.

No word was offered on how well G.Z. played the sax.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: UPI

Another Five-Alarm Sunset

Following evenings when we have one of our five-alarm sunsets, Facebook and other social media platforms swell with posted images and comments about the sky.  We experienced just such a sunset last night and I have already seen a few stunning images people have shared.      

Today, I am posting two of my own images.  I captured the photographs from just outside my front door.  You can see the Causeway and Lake Helena in the lower left of each image.

I am thinking this particular sunset squeezed out every ounce of color available.

—Mitchell Hegman

Rules I Learned the Hard Way

• Never walk through your living room with a freshly caught five-pound trout.
• If you plan on using a brush to apply stain, also plan on staining yourself.
• Following the opposite of my instincts is the best way enter of exit the precious metals markets.
• Both time temperature matter when baking something.
• Ignore the sound of running water in your house at your own peril.
• Admitting your spouse is correct and you are wrong is the better part of pretty much everything.
• Bigger is not always better in matters of fire, air pressure, or counterweight.
• The missing socket from your set is always the one you need.

—Mitchell Hegman

Life Hacks

• You can get other people to regularly wash the dishes by doing a poor job when it’s your turn.
• Playing Tom Jones songs on repeat will remove unwanted house guests.
• You can open almost any container with a hammer if you are willing to discount collateral damage.

—Mitchell Hegman

In the Long Run

In the long run I want to be either some kind of collectable fossil or part of the material used in making a shim that squares up a doorway.

—Mitchell Hegman

Tamaracks

Desiree and I took another mountain drive above Lincoln, Montana, to survey the autumn colors.  We ascended high into the mountains on a fairly rough road with an express interest in seeing if the tamarack trees have joined in blushing with their fall colors.

The trees we call tamaracks are not, technically, tamaracks.  They are western larch trees.  Nonetheless, I continue to call them tamaracks because Richard Hugo, one of my favorite poets, called them so.  This may not be sound reasoning, but it works for me.

Here in Montana, tamarack trees flourish only on the western side of the Continental Divide.  A single tamarack tree lives in the pine and fir forest just above my cabin, only a dozen or so miles west of the Great Divide.  But as you make your way west from my cabin, you begin to encounter more and more tamaracks.

Though they look like evergreens, tamaracks they are a deciduous conifer.  As such, they wash with color each fall and shed all of their needles.  Each spring they return to life with a new array of bright green needles.

As it turns out, we were a bit early on the drive.  The tamaracks are just beginning to change color.  Even so, the drive proved lovely.

 

A Blush of Fall Colors Along the Road

A Roadside Tamarack Turning Colors (On the Left)

—Mitchell Hegman

My Sunday

Here is what I did on Sunday:

• Watched the ten best rock drummers on YouTube
• Pulled a few weeds
• Ate some pumpkin and squash flowers
• Drilled small holes in tumbled glass
• Washed and bake-dried a pile of coarse sand I lifted from an anthill
• Collected rocks
• Walked two miles
• Wrote a query letter
• Completed winterization at the lakeshore
• Helped with some early Christmas decorating
• Watched the ten best rock drummers on YouTube
• Pulled a few weeds
• Studied changes in the latest edition of the National Electrical Code

What did you do on Sunday?

—Mitchell Hegman

The “Crafty” Reason for the Drilling Glass and Collecting Sand

Two Rivers, One Boat

Desiree and I watched a “reality” television program in which a young man was playing two women at the same time.  After watching the program, we engaged in a long discussion about cheaters.  Both of us expressed dismay that some people can comfortably string along two people at the same time.  She concluded with another Filipino maxim I like: “You can’t fish two rivers at the same time from one boat.”

—Mitchell Hegman

Practical and Pretty

I have been waiting until I finish the casing trim around the recently replaced windows of the bedrooms in my house before tying back the curtains in some pleasing fashion.  The other day, however, Desiree and I decided we wanted to move a house plant into the spare bedroom.  To bathe the plant in adequate light, we needed to pull the curtains aside.

I am just practical enough, I would have temporarily driven a 16-penny nails alongside the window and hooked the curtains to those.  Fortunately, Desiree said she would take care of the curtains.

Desiree solved the problem in a practical and most handsome way.   She tied each curtain into a fancy knot that lifted them back just enough for a little light on the plant.

“I like the looks of that,” I told her.  “That’s pretty good.  Who taught you to do that?”

“Nobody,” she responded.  “It’s just something I started doing.”

“Well, it’s wicked cool.”

No doubt about it, Desiree impresses me.  She is practical and pretty.

Curtains Done Desiree Style

—Mitchell Hegman

Awash in Signals

We are awash in signals.  At any given moment, a hit pop song or two, several dozen cellphone calls, a few tracking and control signals, and a plethora of other invisible wave-born impulses are sweeping through each of us.

I thought about this as I soaked in my hot tub while watching three satellites crossing directly above me in the cobalt firmament of a predawn morning.  One of the satellites—the brightest of specs—eventually sliced diagonally through the cup of the big dipper.  The other two drifted off against the host of nameless stars that have accompanied me for the entirety of my life.

The satellites are also emitting signals that may be brushing right through all of us.  

As I thought about the invisible waves unravelling impalpable peaks and valleys within us, I shuddered a little.

Can they all be harmless?

Consider how the invisible waves echoed within the interior of a microwave oven are absorbed by food, forcing water molecules to vibrate and produce heat that cooks the food.

—Mitchell Hegman

What’s in Your Shower?

You might find a lot of strange things in bathtubs and showers.  If kids live in the household, you may find rubber duckies, squirt guns, or even a plastic dinosaur or two.

For a short time, I kept a pet tarantula in my bathtub.

Back in the late 1970s, my roommates and I sponsored the First Annual Bathtub Boogie at our bachelor pad.  Guests were required to bring bottle of wine or booze to attend.  We poured all the contents of the bottles in our bathtub, along with slices of fruit.  Throughout the night, we dipped our drinks from the strange red brew.  At a little after two in the morning, the police knocked on the door and informed me we needed to remove our sofa and a couple party guests from the center of the street.

That’s the stuff legends are made of.  The party proved so legendary, we never opted to sponsor a second annual bathtub boogie.

Today, you will still find one strange thing in my shower or bathtub: a rock.  Not just any rock.  My rock is the prairie form of a loofah sponge.  It also serves as a back scratcher.   The rock is perfect—smooth on one side, a bit rough on the other.

Using a rock in any manner of utility is particularly satisfying for an old rockhound like me.  Showering with a rock is incredible.

My Shower Rock

—Mitchell Hegman

Sea Creatures and Arrowheads

My habit has always been to look for collectable rocks as I walk anywhere in this world of mine.  While hiking across the top of Rountop (overlooking Thermopolis, Wyoming), an oddly colored rock caught my attention.  When I scooped up the rock, I discovered a chip of flint.

Geologically, the flint didn’t belong on top of the butte.

Before long, I and my nephew, Marshall, were poking around the area where I discovered the flint.  Within a few minutes, we found several chips of chert and flint that appeared to have been knapped from larger pieces of stone in the process of making arrowheads.

Eventually, I found the tip of an arrowhead there.

While scouring for arrowheads (from the era when Plains Indians dominated the land), I also found several ancient sea fossils now weathered free from the butte’s limestone cap.

On my hike back down from the top, I found a nearly complete arrowhead on the trail.

Partial Arrowheads and Chips Knapped from Larger Stones

Baculite Specimens and a Shell from the Ancient Sea

Smooth Fossils (Teeth form a Sea Monster?)

—Mitchell Hegman

Roundtop Mountain

Roundtop Mountain (more precisely a butte) rises some 600 feet above the town of Thermopolis, Wyoming.  In 1986, the family of Lewis Freudenthal donated the butte to the people of Hot Springs County so it could be preserved in its natural state in his memory.  Today, a ten-minute hike on a moderate trail will lead you to the flat top of the formation.

Geologically, buttes are formed when hard caprock overlies a layer of less resistant rock that wears away through erosion.  In this case, the harder rock is fossil-bearing limestone.  While that alone is enough to please me, I enjoyed the trail and panoramic views from the top immensely.

Hiking to the top of Roundtop proved one of my favorite adventures in Thermopolis.  Desiree felt some trepidation when traversing the trail carved into the steepest inclines, but loved the adventure and the views as a whole.

I will share a bit more about the fossils later.

Roundtop Mountain from a Distance

Desiree and Natalia on the Trail

Marshall, Me, and Desiree

Thermopolis Below

Desiree and Open Country Beyond

Desiree and Me on Top

—Mitchell Hegman

The Wyoming Dinosaur Museum

For a small town, Thermopolis has a lot to offer—especially if you are Mitch Hegman.  I say this because the Wyoming Dinosaur Museum can be found here.  Like many people who never quite grew up to be a full-fledged adult, I still retain the fascination I had for dinosaurs as a young boy.

The Museum is especially impressive in the quality and quantity of specimens on display.  Back in 2016, CNN Travel ranked the museum as number six of the ten best dinosaur museums of the world.  The article made special note of the 106-foot Supersaurus on display.    

And there is plenty more than that.  You will also find the skeletons of Triceratops, Stegosaurus, T-Rex, Velociraptor and host of others on display.  Some of the large fossils still partially embedded in stone are especially impressive to me.

I walked out of the Wyoming Dinosaur Museum more in awe of the great beasts than when I entered.  I still cannot fully fathom the world in which these strange creatures flourished.

Desiree Among the Giants

Fossils in Stone

The Girls Below the Supersaurus

T-Rex

—Mitchell Hegman