Albert Einstein and Napoleon Bonaparte Trout Fishing

Albert Einstein and Napoleon Bonaparte were trout fishing together along a small mountain stream when a sudden rain forced them to huddle together under a large cottonwood tree.

“I have always enjoyed the rain,” Napoleon remarked as rain pelted the landscape around them.  “The sound of it is not so different from that of a marching army.”

“Army, yes.” Einstein said, nodding.  “I have always appreciated how you suggested ‘An army marches on its stomach.’  At the root level, we all march on our stomachs.  It really is that simple.”

Napoleon did not respond immediately, instead, he swished his fishing rod before him as if it were his sword.  “I have been thinking about the universe,” Napoleon admitted at length.  “I have a root level question about that.”

“I am pretty good with the universe,” said Albert Einstein.    

Napoleon smote the last invisible enemy soldier before him with an efficient swish of his fishing rod.  “Perhaps you can tell me.  Why does the universe exist?  Is there some necessity behind it?” 

Einstein did not hesitate in answering.  “Ah, yes, there is the question.  The answer is situational.  For the moment, the universe is required so rain water can fall and replenish the creek, which provides a place for trout to exist.  And we, my friend, could not fish but for the trout in this creek.”     

—Mitchell Hegman

Impractical Solutions

Here is a list of impractical solutions I would like to use at least once:

1. Defrost my old-timey upright freezer by opening it up and shooting at the ice buildup with a BB gun.

2. Use a honey badger (instead of my live traps) to catch mice in my house.

3. Beat the heat by crawling into bed with two bags of frozen peas and one bag of frozen mango slices.

4. Balance my checking account by choosing magic numbers I like (likely a series of eights).

5. Start a campfire with a flaming arrow shot from a distance.

—Mitchell Hegman

What is Your Descriptor?

I have been watching a bit of the Summer Olympics.  I particularly enjoy watching gymnastics and diving.

While listening to commentators discussing the performance of the divers, I got to thinking about my day-to-day performance.  Specifically, I wondered what diving descriptor would best fit me, generally speaking.

Even at this late age I remain hyperactive.  I think I tend to over-rotate.

What about you?

Do you over-rotate or under-rotate?

—Mitchell Hegman

An Ugly Start

Otto von Bismarck once quipped: “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.”   The implication being that a horrendous mess and level of ugliness underlies the process, but the end product appears well-ordered and reveals none of that.

Let’s go with “yes” on this one.

Nearly all of my projects start with ugly.   I suppose it’s my nature.  I tend to organize after the fact—not during the process.

Yesterday, I needed two nuts and two bolts and then needed to drill two holes to complete the venting panel I made for my sunroom’s air conditioner.  Posted is a photograph of only part of my the process and then the final product.

I reclaimed my kitchen counter late in the afternoon.

My Kitchen Counter

End Product

—Mitchell Hegman

Bubbles in Beer (Science at its Best)

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you have witnessed me poking fun at what I considered frivolous scientific studies.  Today, we celebrate a study I wholly endorse.  Someone finally got around to answering this important question: How many bubbles can be produced by a single glass of beer?

It’s a valid question.  And, considering that archaeological evidence indicates humans have been successfully brewing and drinking beer for at least 5,000 years (possibly for as long as 13,000 years), it’s about time we figured out the bubble thing.

Our hero in the beer-bubble-counting venture is Gérard Liger-Belair, a professor of chemical physics at the University of Reims Champagne-Ardenne in France.  Previously, Liger-Belair determined that one flute of Champagne (a 6-to-10-ounce glass) produces about 1 million bubbles

Beer is a much better producer of bubbles.  Leaning on carbon dioxide (CO2) as the agent for creating bubbles, a single half-pint (8-ounce) glass of beer can bring forth up to 2 million bubbles.

And bubbles aren’t just for show, they are important in matters of taste.  According to the research: “When bubbles in a beverage pop on a drinker's tongue, they enhance subtle flavors; by studying effervescence in liquid, scientists can learn how beverages behave under different conditions and how that can affect their taste.”

Solid scientific work right there.

After reading about all of this, I poured myself a glass of Cold Smoke Scotch Ale.  This is my favorite beer, and it’s brewed right here in Montana.  The term “cold smoke” is used to describe the puffs of powder snow issued by a downhill skier cranking turns down through freshly fallen snow.

Cheers!

My Glass of Cold Smoke

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: livescience.com,  Mindy Weisberger - Senior Writer

My Good Fortune

My throat was a little itchy yesterday morning.  Then, while doing a little electrical work in my sunroom during the cool morning hours, I got something caught in my right eye.  Thankfully, whatever was in my eye refused to wash free for the better part of three hours and annoyed me so much, I forgot all about my throat.

—Mitchell Hegman

Fifty Days of Purple

As of yesterday, the antique bottles I placed in my homemade UV light chamber (aka my extra trash dumpster), have been immersed in light for fifty days.  The three bottles I placed in the light have definitely taken on a deeper shade of purple, but I want more. 

I am willing to soak the bottles in UV light for several more weeks and allow the manganese dioxide in the glass to contribute more color.

Posted today is a photograph from day one and a photograph from day fifty for comparison.   The comparison photographs do not render the colors appropriately, but you can definitely see the color deepening within the glass.

I have also posted a photograph of one of the bottles in natural light to more accurately reveal the color.

Purple Bottle

Bottles on Day One

Bottles on Day Fifty

—Mitchell Hegman

The Fart Wheel Pizza

Yesterday, most of the Aluminum Can Melting Guild collected together at my house for an evening of homemade pizza and adult beverages.  Randy St. Clair made the pizzas and encouraged everyone to bring non-traditional ingredients for the pies.  I had him make me a broccoli, black olive, and fried spam pizza.  We also had a breakfast pizza which included toast and scrambled eggs.

The final pizza was a fart wheel (pronounced: phart phweel).  The fart wheel was loaded with baked beans and lots of cheese.  The idea for the fart wheel pizza was originally conceived at a midwinter Aluminum Can Melting Guild gathering at the lake.  The idea for the pizza was largely the brainchild of Cooper, Tad St. Clair’s oldest son.

Good stuff all the way around.

The Fart Wheel

Randy Tossing a Pizza

Fresh Basil

A Pizza Prepped for the Oven

Pizza Toss Video

—Mitchell Hegman

Something Oscar Wilde Said

 — Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

— True friends stab you in the front.

— It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Watering to Just to Keep Things Dry

We are in such drought at my house, I am watering around my yard just to maintain normal dry.  Everything beyond the reach of my hose is slowly disintegrating into powder.

—Mitchell Hegman

Deer in the Flower Bed

When my wife and I first moved out into the country, we had a lot of discussions about our “yard.”  We quickly opted to maintain as much of the natural landscape as we could.

“I don’t want to fight with the animals over the stuff growing around our house,” I suggested.  “They were here first.  I don’t mind fencing around the trees until they are big enough to fend for themselves.  But I don’t want to establish a fenced-in island of green.”

We tried to locate and plant a few flowers and accent plants not palatable to deer.

Well, there is no such thing as “don’t like” in mule deer vernacular.  No such thing as deer proof or deer resistant.  As a biologist once told me, “Sure, there are plants mule deer don’t like…except, there is always one deer that doesn’t know it isn’t supposed to like them and regularly feeds on them.”

I have found a few items the deer leave alone: cone flowers, blue flax, Russian sage, and gummy weed.

This year, we are astoundingly dry.  The life-giving rains that have visited other sections of our valley have skirted around me.  I have taken to dragging a hose out into the virgin landscape within reach of my hoses to provide water for the trees and the smaller attending plants.

Also, over the last few weeks, a doe mule deer and her twin fawns have been raiding some of my flowers and munching leaves from the lower branches of my chokecherry bushes and Mayday trees.

I am actually happy I can provide a little something for them this year.

Mom and the Twins at my Back Deck

—Mitchell Hegman

The Sky Has Gone Quiet

From twilight to sunrise, I watch the sky and I listen.

From sunset to dusk, I watch the sky and listen.

But my sky has gone empty and has gone quiet.

The nighthawks did not return to my summer skies this year.   I have seen none in their quirky and veering flights as they pluck insects from midair.  I have not heard their shrill calls or the “booming” as they practice deep plunges from the heights.

I have nothing.

Last year, I saw only a half-dozen nighthawks throughout the summer.

When I first settled into my country home, the summer sky here regularly filled with dozens upon dozens of nighthawks during the half-light hours bookending each side of the day.

For the last twenty years, nighthawks have been vanishing from our skies at an alarmingly rapid pace.  I am not alone watching empty skies.

Many years ago, I read articles about this day coming.  The reasons for the sharp decline in nighthawk populations are many and, of course, there is a human hand in the works here.

I find the silence frightening. 

—Mitchell Hegman

Up Next: Trout-Flavored Ice Cream

In case you missed it, July 14 was National Macaroni and Cheese Day.  Unbeknownst to me, National Macaroni and Cheese Day is always celebrated on July 14.  Maybe next year we can all mark our calendars to make sure we remember to celebrate.

I like macaroni and cheese as much as the next person, but I am now thinking my taste for it might be somewhat provisional.  I definitely don’t see macaroni and cheese as a dessert.

This year, to mark the celebration of National Macaroni and Cheese Day, Brooklyn-based Van Leeuwen Ice Cream produced a limited batch of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese-flavored ice cream.  The limited offering quickly sold out.

First: What!

Second: Yuck!

Third: No.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: UPI

The Highwomen

 A great rendition of a beautiful song

—Mitchell Hegman

Vide Link:: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxfDnMhZFi4

Learning From Serial Killers

I rather hate to admit this, but I borrowed a trick from serial killers.  To dispose of their victim’s bodies, some serial killers cut the corpses of their victims into smaller pieces.

It’s a grim practice, but I put it to use (more or less) when I sawed out the rough opening for the door into my sunroom.

I cut five sections from the wall in clearing the opening.  My plan, in true serial killer fashion, is to quietly dispose of the removed sections in my trash bin over the next two collection cycles.  Some sections were far too big and cumbersome to fit in my two trash bins, forcing me to whack them down into more manageable chunks.

I am posting pictures of the process described above and the end results.

 

Partially Open Wall

Opened Doorway

Removed Wall Sections

Chunks Ready for Disposal

Inside the Sunroom

—Mitchell Hegman

A Mouse-Sized Husky Dog

In my dream, I was gliding all around the place while sitting in what can only be described as a kind of big teacup.  Just as I whisked by a young couple in their own teacup, a tiny (mouse-sized) husky dog leapt high into the air just in front of me.  I swiftly reached out and caught the dog with my right hand.

I brought the tiny dog to face me.  “I just saved your life,” I told the dog.

And I woke exactly then.

As I lay there in my bed, fluttering my eyes and rubbing at my forehead, I thought: “Man, I’m glad I woke from that weird mess.”  And then I thought: “Wait.  Is it 'I woke' or 'I awoke' from that weird mess?  Which is correct?  Oh, hell…and what about I awakened”?

I had to roll out of bed and fire up my google machine to determine which is the correct way, grammatically, to emerge from a weird dream.

Most of what I found seems to indicate that woke, awoke, and awakened can be interchangeable.

Why can’t I just wake up and go pee on the toilet seat like most other men?

—Mitchell Hegman

A Sunroom is Born

When I first ordered my sunroom kit, I imagined I might assemble it myself.  Upon the arrival and subsequent unpacking of the various glazing panels, metal pieces, sealer strips, and clips (a lot of clips), I wanted to drink beer and find something else to do.

Maybe I could shovel some dirt onto something.

Maybe I could drink more beer.

Maybe I could locate an installer.

Long story made short:  An installer and three employees arrived a bit after 7:00 yesterday morning.  By 4:00 in the afternoon, they were driving away from a complete sunroom.

These guys hit the ground running.  All of them knew exactly what to do and when to do it.  While two men prefabricated truss sections, the other two men concentrated on lay-out and installation of various flashings (which were fabricated on site with a metal brake).  Once the aluminum structure was completed, the four men all worked together on setting and sealing the glass panel sections and then applying cap metal and final wet sealants.

Posted are a few images from the day.

 

Front Complete

Prefabrication

Metal Structure

Glazing

Side Complete

—Mitchell Hegman

A Strange Sky

The sky in Montana often provides for some vivid sunrises and sunsets.  Yesterday, I encountered a strange sky at midday.   These clouds are called mammatus clouds.  They are created when cold air within the formation sinks toward the Earth.

—Mitchell Hegman

Undressing in my Yard

Someone undressed in my yard.  More specifically, someone about three-foot long undressed right in front of my house.  I didn’t see them disrobing, but this morning I am posting photographic evidence of the event.

—Mitchell Hegman

White Moth

On my latest trip to the cabin, I chanced upon a white moth pressed flat against the leaf of an Oregon grape plant.  Though its color was conspicuous relative to the leaf, I very nearly strode by the moth without notice.   The moth was so smooth against the leaf, I thought the leaf was simply discolored at first glance. 

I am posting photograph I captured with my smarter-than-me-phone.   I love the fancy tassels on the edge of the moth’s wings.

—Mitchell Hegman

Game Camera Report #1

On the 27^th of June, I strapped a game camera to a tree near my cabin.  Yesterday, I retrieved images from the camera.  As expected, the camera captured a lot of deer images.  I also found a fair number of images where the camera triggered but failed to produce a critter.

No predators.

No bigfoot.

No Elvis alive and well and wandering around outside my cabin.

After downloading the images to my computer, I moved the camera to a new location near the creek.

Posted are three of the better images from the first camera placement.

 

A Buck

A Doe with Her Fawn

A Pair of Deer

—Mitchell Hegman

Rain Falling on Parched Earth

Rain is a rare and beautiful commodity this year.  At the sight of a storm rolling across the valley, I dragged a folding chair out onto my front stoop and waited for the storm to reach me.

Came first a cool breeze ruffling my hair.

Then a small darkness fell over my house.

Then rain.

The scent of rain kissing parched earth is like no other.  The only near equivalent is a love song.

I sat even as rain sprayed against my arms and swept across my face.  The rain did not last long, but the vital touch of it put a shine to the whole of the prairie before me.

And when the sun emerged from the clouds, the scent of wet earth became the smell of grass and sagebrush.

Then arose birdsong.

—Mitchell Hegman

Another Lesson Learned

After nearly thirty years working on construction sites, I dropped my tools and settled into the office of an apprenticeship training facility.  It did not take me long to discover an unexpected difference between the work environments.  Put plainly, people working outside the construction world don’t operate with any sense of urgency.

I soon discovered I needed to prod people in other “office” environments to get things done.  I found myself sending out a lot of “reminder” emails and placing a lot of follow-up phone calls.

I was truly shocked by this.

As we brought in new people from the field and plunked them in our office, I gave them this advice: “Don’t expect to get things done as you do on the construction site.  People on this side of the door are not in a hurry.  You might need to push a little more.”

I suppose the difference in responsiveness makes sense.  In the construction world, we usually operated on a strict timeline for project completion.  And everyone associated with a project shared the same goal and the same timeline.

To successfully bring a building up from the ground, you need answers as soon as questions arise.

Bottom line: You can’t stand around waiting for answers and get something done at the same time.

—Mitchell Hegman

The Sight of Me is Scary

For the first few weeks of life, fawn deer are well camouflaged and almost odorless.  Given these traits, they instinctively lie motionless on the ground if spooked or in the vicinity of a predator.  I have approached within three feet of a fawn in this state.

After a few weeks, fawns replace this defense strategy with a polar opposite one: panicked flights to safety when feeling threatened.

Yesterday, I learned what really spooks this highly mobile type of fawn.  Apparently, the sounds of construction are not of much concern to fawn mule deer, but the sight of a certain Mitch Hegman initiates wholesale panic.

After working on a few of my sunroom’s framing details for a couple hours (running a skill saw, hammering, operating a drill), I stepped around the corner of my house, less than ten feet away from my work, and found twin mule deer fawns bedded down alongside the house.  

While the noise I made when framing had not troubled the fawns, one sight of me caused what can only be described as a fawn deer explosion.  One of the twins jumped away to the north.  The other bounced off to the south and stopped at a distance to evaluate me before a final flight away.

I managed a photograph with my smartphone before the fawn veered away.

 

A Fawn Deer Pausing After Bouncing Away from Me

—Mitchell Hegman

Drone Swarms

I don’t celebrate all advances in technology.  More precisely, I don’t appreciate certain uses of new technology.  Following are the first two lines of an article I read in The Sun:

“ISRAEL used the first ever drone swarm deployed in battle to hunt down Hamas terrorists, it was reported.

The drones have no human input but instead link together using artificial intelligence to seek out their targets.”

In plain English, Israel dispatched robots to fly out on their own for the purpose of hunting and killing people.

Deeper in the article, I read this:

“The basic idea of a drone swarm is that its machines are able to make decisions among themselves.”

I think this is a line we should never have crossed.

Did I expect to see this line crossed?

Yes.

If you are Country X and your drones are on the hunt, I suppose this might sound wonderful.  But Country X is not alone in seeking to use drone swarms.  At present, Israel, the UK, Russia, the United States and China are tinkering with this technology.

This not a good operating space for some of the aforementioned countries.  For now, I am mostly afraid of the humans behind the killing robots.  But the more autonomous and efficient the killing machines become, the more we should fear the machines themselves.

—Mitchell Hegman

Source: https://www.the-sun.com/news/3222879/israel-first-ever-drone-swarm-hamas/

Knee Walls

My friend Luke and I determined the layout and then constructed knee walls for supporting my sunroom’s glass.   The layout proved tricky.  The curved glass added a weird, somewhat difficult to envision, dimension to the task.  In the end, our final measurements seemed to work.

Just the same, I used screws to fasten to the top plates on the walls.  This will allow me an opportunity to remove the plates and use other materials of different thickness if we are off  by a fraction of an inch. 

          

An Aluminum Rafter in Place (For Layout)

Framing the Knee Walls

Walls Up

—Mitchell Hegman

Jewels and a Jewel Beetle

Off and on throughout the weekend, we processed two fifty-pound bags of sapphire gravel down at the lakeshore.  The gravel originated from a mine located on the opposite shore of the lake maybe six miles distant from our lakefront by way of the water.

Spoiler alert: the bags—purchased from a shop on York Road operated by the mine owner—are “seeded” with sapphires to ensure every bag has a few.  Seeded or not, finding a sapphire is finding a sapphire.

There is no downside.

In addition to finding jewels in the dirt, a flying jewel beetle made its way to our gathering and landed on my brother-in-law, Terry.  Jewel beetles are nothing less than spectacular.  They are something akin to a custom-made hotrod compared to the standard pickup-truck-type beetles typically waddling around at our feet.

Jewel Beetle

Me Processing the Gravel

Sapphires (and Other) Findings

—Mitchell Hegman

Hole in the Wall

Early yesterday morning, in preparation for fully enclosing my sunroom addition with glass, I got to do the most satisfying task for the entire project.  Using a Sawzall and a skill saw, I sawed a hole in the wall where, thirty years ago, I framed the rough opening for the door.

Between the plywood sheathing, a framing stud, and polyurethane foam, the section of wall I carved out held together remarkably well.  Kicking the chunk of wall free felt surprisingly good.  I giggled as I peered out through the hole after I shouldered the mass free.

After successfully opening the wall, I used the section of wall to temporarily seal the opening again.  I fastened the chunk back in place with a few screws and then stapled cardboard over that to better stop the inflow outside air.  I can easily remove the section just before the glass seals out all other access to the room.

I would have loved this stuff at the age of eight or nine.  And, actually, it feels pretty good now.

Hole From the Inside

Hole From the Outside

Hole Replaced and Covered with Cardboard

—Mitchell Hegman