Photography And Half-Thoughts By Mitchell Hegman

...because some of it is pretty and some of it is not.

Friday, February 28, 2014

100 Days

A mere 100 days beyond conception, a male fetus is capable of producing an erection.  From this point on, one might argue that most other development suffers for that.  Wasn’t it Robin Williams who quipped, “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time?”
--Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

From First Light to Last Light

Following two days of heavy snow—up to three feet in nearby places—we experienced a glorious day of sunshine.  I ventured out to take photos early in the morning, at mid-day, and once again as the sun descended into the Rocky Mountains.
Posted today are three photos: morning, noon and evening.
--Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Eighth Day

I wake on the sofa.
A half-empty glass of water rests on the kitchen counter and a single spoon teeters precariously on the edge of the sink.
The stereo is energized and emitting a low hum from a single speaker—the last song having played many, many hours ago.
Forty pounds of cat are resting in furry humps on the floor nearby.
One crab spider clings to the vaulted ceiling.
All else is clean and in order.
Welcome to the life, baby.
--Mitchell Hegman

Monday, February 24, 2014

Dead Standing

This morning I am posting photographs from a walk I took on Saturday morning.  I have manipulated the contrast.

--Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Reading the Wind

I have learned to read the wind.  The direction from which it is blowing and the strength of the gusts say a great deal.  A strong and steady wind from the north indicates that a cold front will be arriving soon.  Gusting winds from the east signify that a violent storm is surging in from high atop the mountains.  Sharp wind sucking automobiles and trees down into a giant black sinkhole that just appeared in my front yard pretty much mean the end of things.
--Mitchell Hegman

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Grandmaflage (a Definition)

Grandmaflage: the disguising of little old ladies by dyeing their hair blue and dressing them in clothing from the 1980s.
--Mitchell Hegman

Friday, February 21, 2014

Where is the Little Girl?

This is self-explanatory.
If this video fails to launch, please click on the following link:

--Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Disturbing News

Two news items I read yesterday:
Item #1: Barbara Walters (age 84) has a sex toy, a vibrator, that she has named “Selfie.”
            Solution: Don’t think about it.
Item #2: A pack of Chihuahuas has been roving the streets of Phoenix and harassing residents.
            Solution: Command the Chihuahuas to “sing” as they approach.  One of them will surely sit back and howl and the others will soon join in.
Alternate Solution:  Wear a section of stove pipe around each ankle.
--Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Going for the Gold

I have been watching the Winter Olympics a bit.   The Winter Olympics are one of the only sporting events that I find truly interesting.  Most of the events are filled with great feats of flight and fury.  I think I am also attracted by the personal stories from all across the world.  Stories of great victory.  Stories of mighty struggles.  Stories with deep human elements.  I am amazed by the effort—sometimes well more than a decade of constant practice and pursuit—that some athletes will expend simply to compete for gold in the Olympics.
The story of Evgeni Plushenko is illustrative.  At the age of 31 and long suffering from injuries, including a back surgery in which a synthetic disk was inserted into his spine to replace one damaged by the rigors of men’s figure skating, Plushenko still hit the ice for Olympic gold.  Plushenko led the Russians to a gold medal in the first ever team figure skating event, but later dropped out of men’s figure skating competition as his back problems flared once again.
But the pursuit of gold carried him through that first team figure skating event.  
As I watched repeated replays of Evgeni Plushenko struggling to skate just prior to dropping out of the competition due to his back injury, I thought about another more miraculous quest for gold that I witnessed here in Montana.   Put more precisely, I have seen gold cure men of complete disability.
A few years ago, when the price of gold escalated beyond $1,000.00 per ounce, miracles occurred.    Several men that I know who have been many years on permanent disability (with handsome benefits) for back injuries so severe they were incapable of working were apparently cured by the price of gold.  They were able to secretly go out and work a placer mine.  They dug deep into the rocky ground with their shovels.  They carried buckets of water and diggings.  They hoisted and lugged and dragged all manner of items in the quest for gold.
Fortunately, for all parties, the agencies paying their disability benefits were unaware of their cure.  When the quest for gold turned out to be actual work and only occasional specs of gold appeared in their fines, the would-be miners once again realized they were incapable of work and fell back to a life of suffering and complete disability.
Such is the quest for gold.
--Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Law of Conservation of Energy Meets People I Know

The scientists who claim that energy can never be destroyed but can only be transformed have not worked alongside some of the same folks as me.  The people I know can pretty much destroy anything.
--Mitchell Hegman

Monday, February 17, 2014

Opening Statements

If you want somebody to remember you after they first meet you, one thing you can do is introduce yourself and then say: “I have three kids—one each of the two and a half sexes.”
When they ask: “What do you mean?”  You say: “Why are you talking to me?”
--Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, February 16, 2014

An Interesting Pattern

If you were to slice your brain into two distinct sections laterally at a point someplace near the ears and split the sections apart, you would discover how the lobes at the cut faces create a pattern that looks like butterfly wings.  Unfortunately, your critical thinking will be severely hampered because you have just sliced your brain into two sections.  But isn’t it pretty!
--Mitchell Hegman

Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Immutable Truth

As I floated around in my hot tub last night, I thought about a reality television program that I would like to create.  I would call the show The Immutable Truth.  The show would feature two teams: a staunchly liberal team and a staunchly conservative team.  Each week, the team members, as a whole panel, would debate political and social subjects as submitted by a moderator.
Both teams on The Immutable Truth would begin with six members.  Any one member could answer the questions asked and both teams must answer the same question.  If reluctance to answer a question exists, the teams may vote to force one person to answer.  If a team is reduced to two members, they must alternate in answering questions.  The catch to all of the debating is that all answers will be fact-checked.  At the end of each episode, every participant will be assessed for factuality in their statements.  At which time any person is verified to having made six patently untrue statements (as accrued from the very beginning of the show) they are removed from the team and from the show.  The teams are allowed to be imbalanced in numbers.  If all of one team is eliminated, the remaining team members will then debate themselves—each of them will be required to answer the same question in such case.
The show will progress until only one person remains standing.
I suspect that by the time only two or three people remained in the debate you might end up with a reasoned debate—something we have not heard for a very long time.
--Mitchell Hegman

Friday, February 14, 2014

To the Finish

Victory is in how you finish not when you finish.

--Mitchell Hegman
If the video fails to launch here, please click on this link:

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Pulling Down a Little, Pulling Down a Lot

The gravity that holds us gently in the field of wildflowers is also pulling down the bluest stars within spark showers all around us.
--Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Snow Rollers

Yesterday, following our various days of freezing weather and snow accumulations, a warm and windy day fell upon our valley.  While driving home, I began to notice that the mix of wind and warming temperatures had filled some open fields with snow rollers. 
I have seen snow rollers only a couple of times in my life.  A perfect combination of light, sticky snow, slightly above freezing temperatures and ground winds are required to peal a layer of snow and roll it across the landscape.  The rollers often form with a hole in the center and look rather like an upright doughnut.
Posted are two photographs that I took with my Droid about a mile from my house.
--Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Pink Mittens

We all have our moments of distraction when we are doing something that requires constant concentration.  Tasks that are commonplace or repetitious often lull away our better thinking.  Instead of concentrating on what we are doing, we allow our minds to scamper off and dive from a cliff or slowly drift away to knit a pair of pink mittens.
For me, the task that most often kicks my mind out the door is driving.  I cannot count the times I have arrived someplace in my car and realized that I don’t recall much of anything about the drive because I was thinking about something else.  Once, my complete distraction led me to glance at my radio/clock to check my speed while driving down the highway.  I thought to myself: What the hell kind of speed is 10:35?
Oh well, back to knitting mittens.
--Mitchell Hegman

Monday, February 10, 2014

Painted by Sky and Snow

Yesterday, the sun finally split the clouds after nearly two days of on and off again snow.  I walked onto the frozen surface of Lake Helena at mid-day.  Everything around me was painted by either sky or snow and I saw no other person for miles and miles.  Posted are some photographs I captured.
--Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, February 9, 2014


If one of my options involves me teaching bikini models how to safely pose on ladders, the other options really don’t matter.
--Mitchell Hegman

Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Music and the Jump

He is another cat jump video to pair with my posting from last week. 

--Mitchell Hegman
If this video does not…errr…jump…please click on this link:

Friday, February 7, 2014

The Matter of Age

The person who said “age does not matter” was likely not approaching sixty-years-old and trying to bend over to lace-up a pair of work boots before heading outside to work in sub-zero temperatures.
--Mitchell Hegman

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Gnarly Sunset

Today I am posting a photo from a series I have featured previously.  I “flashed” the tree in the foreground to make that a more dramatic point of attention.  This is one of my personal favorites. 

--Mitchell Hegman

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

In My Life Happy and In My Life Sad

Not long ago, someone asked me if I was happy or sad in my life. 
“Both,” I answered.
I sensed that my answer did not satisfy, but I left my response at that.
Following is a more complete answer:
My name means “who is like God,” but in my life I mean to be only human and I am pleased when I dream of fish or I dream of untouched fields of white snow.   Some mornings, I wake with the blazing sun feeling like a grain of sand caught in my eye.  On other days, the warming sun pressing against me feels like whole civilizations building pyramids and harnessing wild beasts on my face and arms.
Sometimes, missing my wife feels like someone trying to stab me to death.
I am wholly content in my work life.  I enjoy the smooth science and the light-year speed of change and the sheer magic of new technology.
Last summer, when walking alone amid the sweet scent of  four-foot bear grass plumes in the high mountains, I felt as though within the very grasp of infinity.
My house is often too empty to be a home and my mind is a junkyard.
--Mitchell Hegman

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Not Just Any Someone

A man I recently met said to me: “I just want to make a difference in someone’s life.”   He said “I” a great deal during our conversation after that.  Not “we.”  Not “us.”  Not “they.”   I quickly came to understand that he was the “someone” in whose life he really wanted to make a difference.
--Mitchell Hegman

Monday, February 3, 2014

The Super Bowl I Would Like to See

I am not very interested in football.  I suspect that my disinterest may be the result of a missing gene or perhaps some yet undiscovered central nervous system failure.  I am one of few people left at the odd station of not quite understanding all the fuss and frenzy surrounding the Super Bowl on game day.   I did watch an entire Super Bowl game once.  That was many years ago.  My sister cried because Denver won the game.
I asked her: “This is just a game, right?”
“Then, why are you crying?”
“Because Denver won!”
Okay.  Back to square one.  My genetic disorder is something akin to color blindness.  In my case, I simply lack the metric to see the emotional and philosophical connections between freakishly large males smashing together and, well, anything else.  I think I might enjoy the game if some twists were added.   Maybe the football could have quills, like a porcupine, so that players want the ball but are also afraid to get near it.  Maybe, rather than being confined to the ground, the players could be equipped with jetpacks so a real “air game” could be played.  I might actually watch a Super Bowl where all the players were required to play either an accordion or bagpipes until the instant the ball was hiked at the beginning of each play.
My kind of game that last one!
--Mitchell Hegman

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Cat Jump in Slow Motion

Amazing how different the action looks in slow motion.

--Mitchell Hegman
If the video does not play, please click on this link:

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I Think of You

I think of you often.  Usually, I am imagining giving you a snuggie or poking your belly with a fork.
--Mitchell Hegman